My Immortal:Edited
by RisingGrace
Summary: And we're back! Enjoy this lovely edited version of fanfic's worst story 'My Immortal'. Enjoy good humour, sarcasm and our hilarious (and so not humble) commentary.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an edited copy of the infamous "My Immortal". It also comes with commentary! What fun! We can all read this fanfic without getting a headache. Thank goodness. My drabble will be bolded. Technically has rules that say I cannot insert things into the flow of a story. It's a good thing for me that this 'story' has no flow at all! I believe that stories should be loved or hated not because of bad spelling or grammar, but how they are written. Because of this belief, I have corrected everything. Now, my grammar isn't perfect, but it's better than Tara's! Anything that I could not correct will be in asterisks. I have had to rephrase some things to deal with run on sentences and horrible grammar, but I stayed as true to the story as possible. Let the story commence! I would love to thank . .fanfic! Without that writer this fanfic could not be possible.**

Ch.1

AN: Special thanks (get it, because I'm gothic) to my girlfriends (ew, not in that way!) raven and bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and my spelling. You rock! Justin you're the love of my depressing life. You rock too! MCR rocks!

**I can already feel an impending migraine. I'm pretty sure that MCR is some sort of band. You won't get some of the 'I'm gothic!' jokes because I'm correcting her spelling and grammar, but I think that not getting her 'jokes' are a good thing! Moving right along!**

Hi! My name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way and I have long, black, ebony coloured hair (That's how I got my name)

**What a name. Who the **** named you? Were they drunk at the time? Aren't most babies born bald or with peach fuzz or something? Evidently Mary Sues defy all laws of anything and are born with long, dark coloured hair. Who knew?**

With purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back. I have icy blue eyes that look like *limpid* tears and a lot of people tell me that I look like Amy Lee. (AN: If you don't know who she is, then get the **** out of here!)

**Last time I checked, it isn't wise to say that to anyone. Let alone your readers. Oh, and by the way, I know what Amy Lee looks like. Her hair isn't like Ebony's at all and I think that Amy's eyes are more of a gray than an icy blue. I'm just saying.**

I'm not related to Gerard Way, but I wish that I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

**Umm. If the Main character's name is 'Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven ****Way****' and this other guy is named 'Gerard ****Way****', than wouldn't it make sense if you were related to him? I mean, this is a story, so technically Ebony can be related to whoever the **** you want. Also, ew, incestual relationships aren't a good thing. Who's Gerard Way anyways? I'm so confused!**

I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale, white skin. I'm also a witch and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in my seventh year. I'm seventeen.

I'm a Goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I buy all my clothes from Hot Topic because I love the store.

**Please kill me now. **

For example, today I was wearing a lacy black corset, a black leather miniskirt, some pink fishnets, and a pair of black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

**Well, now that we've established that Ebony dresses like a slut, let's get on with the story. I'm sorry, but a leather miniskirt and a corset sound pretty slutty to me. It also sounds painful to wear. Don't corsets change your bone structure? Doesn't Hogwarts have a uniform?**

I was walking outside in the school grounds. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about.

**Don't you just love those days where the sun ceases to exist?**

A lot of preps stared at me. I gave them the finger.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…Draco Malfoy!

**OMG! Draco Malfoy! *facedesk***

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends calling me, so I had to go away.

**I'm pretty sure that Draco isn't shy, and if I called my friends over and said, "Nothing." When they asked me why I called, I would get a good smack for rampant stupidity. **

AN: Is it good? Please tell me, thanks!

**Why am I doing this again?**

**AN: I really need to stop writing 5 or 6 things at once. Anyways, hope you enjoyed! More will be coming soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch. 2**

AN: Thanks to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the way, preps stop flaming my story ok!

**Wow. Flames after only one chapter? Tara's got talent! Even I can't pull that off!**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again.

**Isn't there a word for that? Sleeting or something?**

I opened the door of my coffin and drank some bottled blood. My coffin was made of ebony and inside it was covered in hot pink velvet with a black lace trim. I got out of my coffin and took off my pajamas. I changed into a black leather dress, pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets. I put on four pairs of earrings and put my hair into a messy bun.

**I think that the only time there is ever any description in this story is when Tara's describing clothes. Yay. I don't know about you, but that's what I came here for. Clothes.**

My friend Willow (AN: Raven this is you!) woke up and grinned at me.

**Ahh. It's raven from Ch. 1. She's mentioned in the author's note. What the **** is she doing in this story?**

She flipped her long, waist length, raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest green eyes. She changed into a Marilyn Manson t-shirt, a black miniskirt, fishnets, and pointy high heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner)

**Forest green eyes? Crazy hair? It's another Mary Sue! Run for your life! Don't waste your time on this fanfic! Just chuck your computer/laptop out the window and run! Oh, you want more? Fine. Clearly neither of us knows what's good for our health… We also have no morals…**

"Oh my ****ing G*d! I saw you talking to Draco yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

**I must admit, I'm mostly editing out the swear words because it looks kind of funny; and I would like to have at least one story that isn't a high rating fanfic. Tara! Your crappy sex has made me give this a T rating! How could you! You could have left it out! Then I could rate this K. **** you Tara. You ruined my story. Without you I wouldn't even be correcting this crap.**

"Do you like Draco?" She asked as we left the Slytherin common room and went into the Great Hall.

"No! I so ****ing don't!" I shouted.

**You don't really need to shout here. Especially as they're talking about something that could very well spread through the entire school via the grape vine. Keep your ****ing voices down! I already have a headache from correcting this ****. I don't need Mary Sue's screaming about which-imaginary-character like's which-imaginary-character! I didn't sign up for this! …Actually, I kind of did… Oops. **

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." *I replied flirtily.*

**'Flirtily'? Should I replace that with 'flirty'? I don't think I can use that as an adverb; and if I can't then what should I say instead of 'flirty'? I'm so confused. **

"Guess what?" He asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte is having a concert in Hogsmeade." He told me.

**Oh no! A band has fallen into the magical realm! Someone get some aurors or something in there! We have to save them! …Or we could pretend that this is completely normal and continue with the story… I don't know about you, but I choose option A. **

"Oh my ****ing G*d!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band besides MCR.

"Well, do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

**"No!" I cried out in fury. Anger burned inside of me like a flame. How could they do this? Pointless ellipses, run on sentences and misused apostrophes? I couldn't bear to be in this story any longer. **

**"I won't let you get away with this!" I screamed. In response, the sky quickly changed colours and heavy rain fell from the clouds. It pounded onto me, damaging my perfect, white, Mary Sue skin. **

**That's it. I couldn't stand to be in this story any longer. I gave a scream of agony as a bolt of searing pain ran through my head. I was crushed by the hefty power of Tara's stubbornness. I felt myself losing control. I was merely a dumb puppet. There was nothing I could do. I would have to put up with bad clothing descriptions, unknown bands, and terrible grammar. I cast a pleading eye towards the narrator. I watched her sitting, frustrated in front of her laptop. She started to moan, clutching at her head as though desperately trying to keep it on her neck.**

**"I have a headache." She groaned. She took a sip of her tea, before wearily looking out of her window. She was captivated in the view and it took me a moment to get her attention. The narrator looked at me, eyes wide with surprise. I could only manage a few words before Tara's control slipped over me again, "Correct this faster. Help me." **

**I saw her give a quick nod before turning back to her laptop and typing with a vengeance. **

**And that's why I'm doing this. To help clear poor Ebony's name. She is the victim of her controlling master Tara; and so I return to my work, tea in hand, a strange smile on my face, as I work to clear the name of the only innocent being in this story. To clear the name of the puppets, Ebony and Co. **

**For Ebony, and good literature everywhere!**


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

AN: Preps, stop flaming the story, ok! Otherwise, thanks to the Gothic people for the good reviews. THANKS AGAIN RAVEN! By the way, I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.

**You don't own your story? Who does it belong to? By the way, you cannot divide people into two categories: preps and Goths. There are many more types of people out there, and there are also people who fit no category. What about me, Tara? I stay up all night watching LOTR and Hellboy. I enjoy action adventure, romance, horror, and fantasy books/movies. Well, not horror movies, but moving on. I dress in whatever's comfy. My hair is dark brown and it's a ragged mop. My 'getting up ritual' mostly consists of making sure my hair doesn't look like a rat's nest, getting dressed in whatever's clean, eating and then heading out the door. I enjoy writing poetry and stories. I play many video games like LOTRO and Neverwinter (Perfect World, not Neverwinter Nights although I enjoy that as well). Tell me Tara, am I a prep or a Goth? I'm certainly not a prep, and I'm certainly not a Goth. Therefore (by Tara's definition and skewed view of people) I do not exist. What? That wasn't where I was going with this. Ah well, it works. I think.**

On the night of the concert, I put on my black lace up boots. I also wore red, ripped fishnets and a black leather mini-dress *with all this corset stuff on the back and the front*.

**Could someone please PM me and tell me what 'corset stuff' is and how it got onto that dress?**

I put matching fishnets onto my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

**Depression is not feeling any emotions. If you care enough about this concert to dress up for it, then you are feeling an emotion. Therefore you are not feeling depressed (which feeling an aversion to activity), or depression, you are feeling sad. You are feeling miserable, worthless, mind numbing sadness. It's not depression or depressed. If you can't get your grammar right, for G*d's sake, get your vocabulary right. Especially if it's in a topic that you pretend to know very well.**

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC.

**You're just going to bleed all over your book? I would rather cut my hand off then get blood on my precious novels. Also, you read a book that cautions against doing activity? Or did the book make you feel an aversion to activity? I can just go on about this all day. And one more thing: slitting your wrists! What the **** were you thinking? Are you trying to kill yourself? Don't ****ing do that! There are much better things you could be doing. Why not go for a walk, or just read books without bleeding all over them. She's clearly enjoying herself with books and GC, so why is she trying to kill herself. Ebony has showed none of the clues that someone is about to commit suicide, so what's going on!**

**I have a headache…**

I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyways. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

**How is drinking blood and going to a concert related in any way? I know that Ebony's supposed to be a vampire (walks in sunlight? Go's to a school that is technically for magical ****_human_**** wizards?) so I won't touch the blood, although I don't support cannibalism or rampant stupidity. **

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.

**The Weasley's have the flying car, not the Malfoy's. **

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the concert as well), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish, and a little eyeliner. (AN: A lot, for cool boys wear it too!)

**Someone save Draco.**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed tone.

**Ah. So your voice felt an aversion to activity? Interesting. You might want to see a doctor about that.**

"Hi Ebony." He responded. We got into his flying black Mercedes Benz and flew to the concert.

**I need aspirin.**

On the way, we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson.

**I'm not sure about this, but isn't Marilyn Manson classified as 'emo' music? Whatever, this story already doesn't make any sense. Let's just throw in Bolt the Wonder dog, Green Arrow, Thor and Gandalf to further addle my brain. Toss in Annie and Tibbers too! I don't mind!**

We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

**Well, I'm glad that we can leave with a moral inscribed in our minds. The moral is this: burn bad stories.**

When we got there we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit in front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

**Pre YouTube: What the ****'s a mosh pit? I don't get out enough. On to YouTube! Post YouTube: That looks rather violent… Please don't kill Draco in there.**

"You come in cold; you're covered in blood,

They're all so happy, you've arrived,

The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom,

She sets you free into this life." Joel sang. (AN: I don't own the lyrics to that song).

**Why is there a song about giving birth in this fic? Usually when songs are inserted into stories, they are at least mildly related to the contents of said story. **

"Joel is so ****ing hot!" I said to Draco. I pointed at Joel, who was filling the club with his amazing voice.

**I'm no expert, but aren't concerts usually outside? **

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

**Instead of moshing to the lights or the club or the wind.**

"Hey, it's ok; I don't like him better then YOU!" I said

**…You don't know either of them very well…**

"Really?" Draco asked insecurely as he put his arm around me protectively.

**Have you even seen someone mosh? Draco probably just lost a limb doing that. Ebony and Draco probably just got stampeded.**

"Really," I said, "Besides, I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary ****ing Duff. I ****ing hate that little *****." I said in disgust as I thought of her ugly, blonde face.

**Woah! Language! What did she do to you? You can't have a yellow face. It's not genetically possible.**

The night went on, and I had a really great time. So did Draco. After the concert we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and some pictures of them.

**Benji? Do you mean Benji the dog of 1974, Benji the 2012 film about Ben Wilson or Benji B the British DJ/radio presenter? There are so many Benji's in this world. Were they all there? I hope you had a lot of paper. **

We got GC concert t-shirts. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes Benz, but he didn't drive back to Hogwarts. Instead he drove into the Forbidden Forest!

**Edited out: world's longest ellipse ever.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch. 4**

AN: I said stop flaming, ok? Ebony's name is EBONY, not Mary Sue, ok? Draco is so in love with her that he's acting different! They knew each other before, ok?

**She doesn't know what a Mary Sue is? She practically invented them! Speaking of Mary Sue's, a nifty project would be to attempt to find the very first Mary Sue. It's probably extremely difficult, but it would be neat to know. I suggest starting your search in medieval literature.**

"Draco!" I shouted, "What the ****do you think you're doing?"

**Do you need to shout! He's sitting right beside you!**

Draco didn't answer. Instead he stopped the flying car and got out. I walked out of it too, because I was curious.

"What the ****ing ****?" I asked angrily.

**She swears more than I do! Give her a medal!**

"Ebony." Draco said.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in close and I looked into his Gothic red eyes (he was wearing coloured contacts). His eyes revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness. I didn't feel so mad anymore.

**Again, did his eyes have an aversion to activity, or did they make you feel an aversion to activity! I will give a quote here, because I have said this far too many times. '"You keep using that word!" the Spaniard snapped. "I don't think it means what you think it does!" '– Inigo from 'The Princess Bride'**

**Is evilness a word anyways?**

*And then … … … … just as I Draco kissed me passionately.*

**Just as you what? What's going on? Why four ellipses! Four! STOP ELLIPSING! Look what you made me do Tara! You made me use caps-lock. I never use caps-lock! Never!**

*Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.*

**Ok, are you on the ground with him lying on top of you, or are you standing while he attempts to press you into a tree? You can't do both.**

He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra!

**I thought that he was taking off your clothes. If he does that, then why doesn't he take off your bra?**

*Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.*

**I'm sorry, that was too funny to edit. Is Tara three? There are better ways to say that they had sex. You could even gloss over it and have a morning after thing. You could say something poetic like, "We let our passion, lust, and love for each other swell and merge in the welcome cloak of the night. Afterwards, I lay in his arms feeling content. Everything felt so prefect that I hoped that this moment, this feeling, would never end." Isn't that nicer? No details, romantic, sappy, sweet, and short. **

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed as a whole new feeling, warm, soft, and fiery hot, welled up in my stomach.

**(See what I mean? Much better than "I started to orgasm." Sue me, I'm a romantic.)**

As we kissed each other passionately my pale body became all warm.

"What the **** are you doing you mother****ers!"

It was Dumbledore!

**Why is he in the woods? Why is he swearing at his students?**

**Edited out: 12 ellipses between 'was' and 'Dumbledore'.**


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

AN: Stop flaming! If you flame it means that you're a prep or a poser! Dumbledore swore because he had a headache, ok? He was also mad at them for having sex! I'm not updating until I get 5 good reviews!

**Forget Dumbledore, I have a headache from editing this. If I tried to edit Starkit's prophesy my head would explode.**

Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us.

**What was he saying? Have I said it before? Probably. **

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face.

**Whaaaat? Tears of blood? What the ****'s going on here! Also crying is out of character for Ebony. Wouldn't she yell at him that he's a poser or something?**

Draco comforted me. Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall. They were furious.

**They don't even know what's wrong. Then again, I'd be angry too if someone threw two Gothic blubbering kids at me.**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" Dumbledore yelled.

**I could make a pun here about doing forbidden activities in the Forbidden Forest, but I'm not going to. You better be grateful. **

"Why would you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" McGonagall asked.

"How dare you have sex?" Snape shouted.

"I love her!" Draco shrieked.

**What? Give him a smack for being non-canon!**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and McGonagall were still angry, but Snape said, "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

** Svkmvfkdskm,gffvbcn,jdm ew,bn[;p\ ewmr,**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you ok Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah. I guess." I lied. I went up to my bathroom and brushed my teeth. I brushed my hair, and then I changed into a black, low cut, floor length dress with a red lace trim and black high heels.

**That's what I wear to bed. Sounds comfy.**

When I came out Draco was standing in front of me. He started to sing 'I just want to live' by Good Charlotte.

**How did he get into the girl's dorm?**

**Finally, a song is mentioned, and it actually is related to the plot!**

I was flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be here.

We hugged and kissed. After that we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back to his room.

**Since when did Draco turn into a romantic sap? I think Tara just used Draco because she liked his name. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch. 6**

AN: Shut up preps! Ok? I won't update until you give me good reviews!

The next day I woke up. I put on a black, frayed miniskirt, a matching top with red skulls on it, black high heeled boots, two pairs of skull shaped earrings and two cross shaped earrings. I dyed my hair purple.

**She's a ****ing vampire! She can't wear G*d ****** crosses! **** you Tara! ****, have you no ****ing sense! Let's just do what Twilight did and throw out the ****ing rules of what makes a G*d ****** vampire a ****ing vampire. I hope you ****ing choke on your dinner. I hope some ****ing slimy monster crawls down your throat and ****ing eats you alive! I will deal with awful spelling and terrible grammar, but this is too much! ****ity, ****, ****, ****!**

**Edited out: The rest of my rant and, 'I spray-painted my hair with purple.'**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of blood.

**The house elves must have fainted in fear and disgust when they made Ebony her breakfast.**

Suddenly someone bumped into me and I spilled blood all over my top.

"*******!" I shouted.

I regretted saying it when I looked at him. I was looking into the pale white face of a Gothic boy. He had spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that it was running down his face. He was wearing black lipstick. He had gotten rid of his scar and glasses and he was wearing red contact lenses.

**Good old scar remover! Comes in handy doesn't it? **** you Tara. ****, ****, ****. Clearly I need a break. **

He had some stubble on his chin.

**Edited Out: The lone manly hair on Harry's chin.**

He had a sexy English accent and he looked exactly like Joe Madden.

**Ok, I just googled Joe, and Harry looks nothing like him. Ebony must be vision impaired or something; and yes. Googled is a verb now. Deal with it.**

He was so sexy that my body went all hot. I had a girl erection.

**There wasn't much I could do to cushion that phrase. Sorry. I tried…**

**Edited Out: Tara calling us sicko's for thinking of 'girl erections' when she brought them up in the first place.**

"I'm so sorry." He said shyly.

**I love how no one has issues with Ebony drinking human blood at the breakfast table.**

**"What's that Ebony?"**

**"Some human blood you poser!"**

**"Oh, neat! Carry on!"**

**I mean seriously, what the ****?**

"It's alright. What's your name?" I asked.

"My names Harry Potter, but most people call me Vampire." He grumbled.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I like the taste of human blood." He giggled.

**Shoot Harry. It's too late to save him. I'll be right back after I sing a funeral dirge for Harry.**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

******, ****, ****, ****, **** NO! You are officially classified under 'other' along with Edward Cullen and Bella whatever-her-last-name-is. **** you Tara, **** you and every low life, plague ridden thing you have ever touched. ****, ****, ****!**

**Aren't you glad I censer out swears? Your eyes should be bleeding right now.**

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah!" I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came over and told me that he had a surprise for me. I went away with Draco.

**Shoot me now. **


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7

AN: Well, ok. Guys, I'm only writing this because I got five good reviews. BY THE WAY, I won't write the next chapter until I get 10 good reviews! STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a Mary Sue ok? She isn't perfect, SHE'S A SATANIST! She has problems! She's depressed for G*d's sake!

**She feels an aversion to activities? I should probably let this go…**

*Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs.*

**Two things could be happening: **

**1. Ebony and Draco are holding hands. Draco is wearing black nail polish. Their hands are pale.**

**2. Ebony and Draco are holding hands that have been hacked off of some poor guy's body. The cut off hands have been painted with black nail polish and they are pale.**

**At this point, it honestly could be either of them. I'd rather go with option 1, but I'll let you decide.**

I had painted red Satanist signs into my nails. (See, does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?)

**Yes. Yes, it does.**

I waved at Vampire. *Dark misery was in his depressed eyes.*

**1. Vampire/Harry's eyes are a dark colour. Vampire/Harry was miserable. He felt an aversion to activity.**

**2. Vampire/Harry's eyes are a dark colour. Misery had made a house and was living in his eyes. His eyes felt an aversion to activity.**

**As always, take your pick. Either of these choices could be true in such a twisted, crazy fanfic; and no, I will not drop the 'aversion to activity' thing. Just think of it as my running gag, or my '**** you' moment. You'll feel much better, just like tea makes me feel better when I correct awful grammar.**

I guess he was jealous because he wanted to date me, but I was already dating Draco. Anyways, I went upstairs with Draco. I was excited. We went into his room and locked the door.

**Draco shares that room with ten other guys. Did you kick them out of the room before you locked the door?**

Then we started kissing passionately. We took off each other's clothes enthusiastically.

**Edited Out: passive frenching**

He felt me up and then I took off my top. I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants.

**Ok, black leather anything does not sound comfy to me. Isn't it all hot and muggy and rainy in England? How does she survive walking around in tight, black, leather clothing? I can barely survive hot weather in jeans. Do Mary Sue's not sweat, or are they remotely like normal people?**

We went onto the bed. We made out. We had sex. (AN: See, is that stupid?)

**Your description of it is. There is nothing redeemable in this chapter.**

**Edited out: capitalization of 'had' and 'sex'. **

I orgasmed and screamed, "Draco! Draco!"

Suddenly I saw a tattoo on Draco's arm. It was a heart with a black arrow through it. On the tattoo, in bloody writing 'Vampire' was written.

**If this was well written, I could call it a crappy soap opera!**

I was so angry.

"You *******!" I shouted angrily. I jumped off of the bed.

**You can't just get out of the bed normally? You have to jump? Really?**

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded, but I knew what had happened between Draco and Vampire.

**I don't understand this fanfic. I can sympathise with Draco completely. He and I are both thinking, "What the **** is Tara doing?***

"No you ****ing idiot! You probably have AID's anyways!"

Huffily, I got dressed and stomped out of the room. Draco ran out even though he was naked.

**Draco just had sex in front of an uncertain number of possible guys in his room, and then he runs into the hall naked. He certainly isn't shy.**

*He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.*

**Because when I see a guy, all that I think about is the size of his 'you-know-what' and that determines if I will ever be angry at him. Kasz/;…..axZcvbg **

I stomped into Professor Snape's class and saw Vampire and other students.

**She memorised his timetable? After knowing him for a day? Creepy little girl… My friend writerperson101 knows my timetable, but we've known each other for a while now. Memorizing some guy's timetable after a day is just creepy…**

"Vampire Potter, you're a mother****er!" I yelled.

**How do you know if he ****'s his mother? Do you stalk him? Shouldn't you be mad at Draco and Vampire, not just Vampire? Speaking of Draco, I hope that he didn't follow her naked into the classroom. That would cause quite a scandal. I'm really surprised that whatever house Ebony is in hasn't lost a billion points by now. They didn't even take any points away from her house when they caught her having sex in the woods! Doesn't that strike you as odd? Shouldn't she be in class? Shouldn't Draco be in class? Evidently the staff at Hogwarts has decided that they just don't give a shit about Ebony, Draco, Vampire/Harry and their issues anymore.**


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8

AN: Stop flaming ok! *if u do de prep!*

**'do de prep'? What the ****? You have to admire her bullheaded determination to make this fanfic work. Even though it's a bad fanfic, I have to give her brownie points for that.**

Everyone in the class stared at me. Draco came into the room, even though he was still naked, and begged me to keep dating him.

**;upoodfsijjjjjjj**

**][d[pfkogj Draco, didn't I say something about not running naked into classrooms in the last chapter? Didn't I? You should follow my advice… If you do than this whole story will be better…**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed.

My friend Bloody Mary Smith smiled at me understandingly.

**Edited Out: Bloody Mary's understated smiling**

**Isn't Bloody Mary the name of a ghost who haunts mirrors? When I was told Bloody Mary stories as a little kid, I would stay away from mirrors for days on end. What is she doing in this fanfic?**

She flipped her waist length, Gothic, black hair and opened her crimson eyes. She was wearing contact lenses. She had pale skin, but she was wearing white makeup. Hermione had been kidnapped when she was born.

**Nonononono! cgyhuijokp[l;]h'\yggyhjubnt Tara… why do you do this to literature? Why? If she's a vampire too then I'm just going to scream.**

Her real parents are vampires.

**I hate you Tara. I curse your name.**

One of her parents was a witch. Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it.

**Hello Golem, would you like to join this story? It would be better!**

**Once more, there is a difference between 'depressed' and 'depression'. Unless her father felt an aversion to action upon his wife's death, I doubt that this is true.**

She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.

**You know Tara, there are plenty of brilliant people who are out there. They don't have to be Goth or emo. They don't have to feel a lack of emotions or an aversion to activity. They don't have to have red eyes or leather dresses. They just have to be themselves. They have to be their own, unique individuals. That is what makes a person 'cool'. I feel very sorry for this poor girl if this is truly her take on the world, because that is a very narrow view. A very narrow view indeed…**

It turns out that her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now, not Gryffindor).

**Actually, if she would still do anything for honour and if she is still brave, her house wouldn't change. I'm just saying. **

"What do you desire, you meaningless twit!" Snape demanded angrily. I ignored him.

**Edited Out: Snape demeaning angrily**

"Vampire, I can't believe that you cheated on me; and with Draco!" I shouted.

**Wasn't Ebony dating Draco? Shouldn't it be, "Draco, I can't believe that you cheated on me; and with Vampire!"?**

Everyone gasped.

**POV change from Ebony to Draco. Why? I don't know.**

I didn't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had gone out with Vampire for a while, until he broke my heart. I'm bisexual and so is Vampire and Ebony.

**There are no words for this canonrape. No words…**

He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy ****er.

**Britney Spears? **

**You know 'prep' is not an insult. It's a term used to classify people. Stop using that word. You're really starting to piss me off.**

We were just good friends now.

**Wait, I thought that he broke your heart? How are you good friends? When someone breaks your heart, usually you become enemies…not best buddies.**

He had gone through horrible problems and now he was a Goth. As if I would hang out with a prep!

**Ok, I'm not a Goth, and I'm not going to pretend to be one; but if I was one, this would really insult me. Heck, I'm not a Goth and I still feel insulted for some reason.**

**POV change from Draco to Ebony.**

"I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" Vampire said.

"Yeah ****ing right! **** off you *******!" I screamed.

I ran into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity to Draco. I burst into tears.

**Edited Out: Ebony losing her virility. That applies to guys. Ebony is not a guy. That's the only thing in this fanfic that I'm actually****_ sure_**** about.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch. 9**

AN: Stop flaming ok! I didn't read all the books! This is from the movie, so it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears! Besides, I SAID THAT HE HAD A HEADACHE! Snape doesn't like Harry because he is a Christian and Harry is a Satanist! MCR rocks!

**I have a headache! Snape never liked Harry! Dumbledore doesn't swear in the movies! What the **** are you talking about! Why is MCR in your author's note? What does this band have to do with anything? I'm so confused…**

**As for everyone reading this, you can't kill an online story with fire. What you have to do (and this is hard) is to not comment. That just encourages them to keep writing. Send them a PM asking if they need any help with their grammar and spelling, but don't comment. Flaming is like all fire: if you add fire to something that's already bad (oil for example), it just gets worse. Much, much worse.**

I was so mad and sad.

**As long as you didn't feel an aversion to activity, I don't care how you feel.**

I couldn't believe that Draco cheated on me. I leaned against the tree where I did it with Draco and cried.

Then all of a sudden, a horrible man with red eyes and no nose flew towards me on a broomstick!

**Edited Out: Further reassurement that the noseless man has no nose. Surprise, surprise.**

(He looked like Voldemort does in the movies) He was wearing black clothing, but it was obvious that he wasn't Gothic. It was Voldemort!

**Edited Out: unnecessary ellipses**

"No!" I shouted.

Voldemort shouted, "Imperius!" so I couldn't run away.

**The incantation is imperio. Not imperius. That's the name of the spell.**

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him.

**That's the name of Hermione's cat. Try again Tara. Also, if Ebony is under the Imperius curse, why can she talk? Is this another Mary Sue thing?**

Voldemort fell off of his broom and screamed.

I felt bad for him, even though I'm a sadist, so I stopped.

**If you were a sadist, than you wouldn't have felt bad for him; you would feel happy that you're inflicting pain. Am I the only one here with a large, well-used vocabulary? Also, I think that Tara means the pain causing curse Cruciatus. These things matter!**

"Ebony!" He yelled, "You have to kill Vampire Potter!"

**Edited Out: Voldemort's terrible Elizabethan English. As someone who reads a lot of Shakespeare, it was very painful.**

I thought about Vampire's sexy eyes, his Gothic black hair and how he looks like Joe Madden.

**No, he doesn't.**

I remembered how Draco had told me that I didn't understand. Then I thought, what if Draco had dated Vampire before he dated me, and then they broke up?

"No Voldemort!" I shouted.

Voldemort gave me a gun.

"No! Please!" I begged.

**Don't you people have wands? Then again, you can block/dodge curses. It's harder to block/dodge bullets. At least, I think so. I'm not quite sure. I think it would be harder to block/dodge curses since they are magical, but unfortunately I cannot test this theory.**

'You have to!" Voldemort shouted, "Or I will kill your beloved Draco!"

**Why don't you just kill Harry and skip this bull****? **

"How did you know?" I exclaimed.

Voldemort looked at me in a way that suggested that he thought that I was mentally challenged.

**For the record, I think Ebony's mentally challenged too.**

"I have telekinesis." He said.

**Oh, you can move physical objects with your mind? That's neat, but it's not an explanation. You can't read minds or memories with telekinesis. You can set things on fire, freeze things, and move physical objects, but that's it. You can't read minds. You also can't cure my headache.**

"If you don't kill Vampire, you know what will happen to Draco!" He shouted. He flew away angrily on his broomstick.

**Why is he angry? His weird nonsensical plan worked! Kind of…**

I was scared, mad and I didn't know what to do. Suddenly, Draco came into the woods.

**How did he know Ebony was there?**

"Draco." I said, "Hi!"

"Hi." He replied, but he looked sad.

*He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.*

**We have some options here.**

**1. Draco is wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner. His style of makeup is derived from both Joel Madden and Gerard Way.**

**2. Draco is wearing white foundation. His messy eyeliner is shaped like a pentagram. It is located between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.**

**3. Draco is wearing white foundation. If Gerard Way and Joel Madden had a baby, it would be Draco's pentagram shaped eyeliner.**

**4. Draco is wearing white foundation. His pentagram shaped eyeliner is messy. If Gerard Way and Joel Madden had a baby it would be Draco.**

**This is ridiculous. **

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

**I love how Ebony forgets all about Voldemort. This kind of thing must happen very often.**

"I'm sorry that I was angry with you, but I thought that you were cheating on me." I explained.

**Edited Out: Ebony expelling at Draco**

**You have no idea how much time I spent agonizing over how to correct that sentence.**

"That's ok." He said all depressed.

**Grrrrrrr. He said an aversion to action. Can you pick a new word to brutally rape?**

We walked back to Hogwarts while making out.

**Wow. I sure can't make out and walk. Can you? It must be another Mary Sue thing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ch. 10**

AN: Stop it you gay faggots! If you do not like my story, then **** off! It turns out that Bloody Mary isn't a muggle after all. Bloody Mary and Vampire are evil. That's why they are now in Slytherin, ok?

**No. It's not ok. You don't understand the sorting hat system. It is based off of values. Their values would not change even if they were evil, so no, it's not ok.**

I worried about Voldemort all day. I was still upset when I went to my band's rehearsals. My band is a gothic metal band and it's called 'Bloody Gothic Rose 666'. I am the lead singer. I also play the guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. Bloody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Hargrid and Ron (We call him Diabolo) are also in the band. Ron has black hair with blue streaks.

**Diabolo is a juggling prop. You know that, right? Ah Tara, you never cease to confuse me. **

**Hargrid may be Hagrid, but there's so much name-changing that I'm not sure.**

Today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they didn't come to our rehearsal.

**Oh my G*d. Did she actually use 'depressed' correctly? She did! She did! Yay! Finally! I've only been going on about that for this whole fanfic!**

We wrote songs instead. I knew that Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he is a vampire. You can only kill vampires with crosses and stakes.)

**You can also behead them. Or you can put a stake in their hearts, then behead them, then stuff their mouths with holy wafers. Fire is a method, but it may not work. Holy water will hurt them, but not kill. I may have to read Dracula again , but I believe that Van Helsing beheaded Dracula. Since most vampires (glittery fairies in Twilight are excused from this) are based off of Dracula, I feel that we can safely follow these rules.**

**Don't you wear cross shaped earrings in Ch. 6?**

**Edited Out: awkward bracket-in-bracket (-(-)-) *facedesk***

Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.

**'The Corpse Bride'? That's not a depressing movie. That made me laugh, it's a cute romantic comedy by Tim Burton. If you want a depressing movie than watch 'The Colour Purple'. Now that's a depressing movie. By the way, Tara actually used depressing right. A movie can be depressing, but 'The Corpse Bride' is not.**

**For the record, the definition of depressing is to cause a damage reduction in the economy, or to cause a feeling of miserable dejection. So Tara did use 'depressing' correctly.**

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and a matching miniskirt. The miniskirt said 'Simple Plan' on the back. You might think that I'm a slut, but I'm not.

**The definition of a slut is a slovenly or promiscuous woman. You are a slut. Sorry.**

*We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.*

**I couldn't find anything about Helena or her covers.**

"Ebony, are you ok?" Bloody Mary Smith asked. She was concerned.

**Edited Out: Mary's concerted asking**

"What the **** do you think!" I asked angrily.

**I think that you're a crazy, psychopathic *****. Do you have any more dumb questions?**

"Voldemort came and that ****ing ******* told me to ****ing kill Harry! I don't want to kill him. He's very nice, even if he did go out with Draco; but if I don't kill Harry, Voldemort will ****ing kill Draco!" I cried. I burst into tears.

**Hmmm. Maybe we should tell the headmaster. No? Alright then. **

**One more thing, don't you call 'Harry', 'Vampire'. Have you decided that 'Vampire' is a silly name for a vampire? That's like me naming myself 'Human'!**

Suddenly, Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

**How did he fit behind a wall? Did he jump through the wall? Do the laws of physics apply to Mary Sues? **

"Why didn't you ****ing tell me?" He shouted, "How could you! You ****ing poser! You're a muggle *****!" (AN: See? Is that out of character?)

**I actually spent a few seconds trying to decide if I should replace 'muggle' with asterisks. Technically, it is a wizard swear word. Sort of. I don't know…**

**Yes. Yes it is out of character. Where are Crab and Goyle? If they don't want to hang out with these crazies, than they must have more sense than I thought they had. Evidently Crab and Goyle are the most intelligent people in this fanfic. Who knew?**

I started to cry.

**Weren't you already crying?**

Draco cried too, because he was sensitive.

**I think he's crying because either he gets killed, or his friend gets killed. For being in such a situation, he is excused from crying, because that kind of makes sense.**

Then he ran out of the room. He was still crying.

We practised for one more hour. Suddenly, Dumbledore walked into the room. He was angry! His eyes were fiery, and I knew that this time, it wasn't because he had a headache.

**I've had headaches. You don't get fiery eyes from headaches. How can I put this? When you have a headache…your head aches. Surprise, surprise. Please take note of my dry sarcasm.**

"What have you done!" he cried out. He seemed wise. (AN: See, that's not swearing. This time he's really upset and you will see why!)

"Ebony, Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide. He slit his wrists."

**What? I have some issues with this:**

**1. Why is Dumbledore telling Ebony this news specifically?**

**2. Why is Dumbledore telling his students that other students have been found dead?**

**3. Shouldn't Dumbledore have put a stop to the whole wrist slitting thing a few chapters ago?**

**4. Crab and Goyle must have found Draco's dead body. They did the sensible thing and told the headmaster about it. **

**5. Why does he assume that Ebony has obviously done something to make Draco commit suicide?**

**6. This one's a quote, "I knew that Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he is a vampire. You can only kill vampires with crosses and stakes.)" Unless Draco slit his wrists with a cross or a stake, I don't see how death by wrist slitting is possible for Draco.**

**7. Can we at least try to keep it consistent?**


	11. Chapter 11

Ch. 11

AN: I said stop flaming you preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! *sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!*

**I had issues with the 'sp' at the beginning. If anyone knows what she is trying to say, please PM me.**

"No!" I screamed. I was horrified.

Bloody Mary tried to comfort me, but I told her to **** off. I ran to my room. I was alone. I was crying.

Dumbledore chased me. He was shouting. He stopped chasing me when I went into my room. He had to stop because if he didn't, he would look like a pervert.

I started crying. My tears were made of blood. I slit both of my wrists. *They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.*

**What? We have some options:**

**1. Ebony's wrists got all over her clothes. She took off her clothes. Ebony jumped into her bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry.**

**2. Ebony's wrists got all over her clothes. She took off her wrists. Ebony jumped into her bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry. How did she put on a song without wrists? I don't know.**

**3. Ebony's blood got all over clothes. She took the blood off and jumped into the bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry.**

**4. Ebony's blood got all over her clothes. She took the clothes off and jumped into the bathtub while putting on a Linkin Park song. The song was at full volume. Ebony was angry.**

**Isn't that… interesting?**

I grabbed a stake and almost stuck it into my heart. I almost committed suicide.

I was so ****ing depressed!

***sigh* must we go over this again?**

I got out of the bathtub and out on a low cut, black, lacy dress. I was sad. I also put on black high heels. They had pink metal on the ends. I put on six pairs of skull shaped earrings.

**Ebony's ears have more holes than Swiss cheese!**

I couldn't ****ing believe it! Then I looked out of the window and screamed. Snape was spying on me! He was taping me! Lupin was masturbating! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

**How is Lupin doing that while sitting on a broomstick?**

"Ew! You are ****ing perverts! Stop looking at me! I'm naked! Are you pedophiles?" I yelled.

**I love how she yells this instead of hiding or something. Also, she's not naked; she's wearing a black, lacy dress. **

**No Ebony, they're not ****ing perverts. If you look carefully, you will see that they are masturbating and taping perverts. You need to pay more attention to these things.**

I screamed and put on a towel. The towel had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it.

**So Ebony can wrap Marilyn Manson around her naked body. Whose idea was this?**

Suddenly, Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled as he pointed his wand at Snape and Lupin.

**Edited Out: Vampire/Harry's womb pointing. I doubt that anyone (man or woman) can do this.**

I took out my gun and shot at Snape and Lupin. I shot them a gazillion times. They started screaming and their camera broke.

**Snape and Lupin would have to be right next to the window to film Ebony and avoid any distortion. Ebony can't be more than 20 meters from the window. Clearly Ebony is a very bad shot. Her gun is very special and carries an unlimited number of bullets. Also, where did Ebony hide this gun? Did she shove it up her butt? Dresses don't usually have pockets.**

Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in.

**Brace yourself for insane, nonsensical dialogue. **

"Ebony! Someone has-", Dumbledore said, "No!"

Dumbledore looked at Snape and Lupin. He waved his wand and suddenly Hargrid flew out on his broomstick.

"Ok! Listen everybody! We need to have a talk!" Hargrid said.

"What do you know Hargrid! You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **An unknown person asked.**

"I may be a Hogwart's student, but I am also a Satanist!" Hargrid said angrily.

**Erm. That's great? What does that have to do with understanding?**

**Is Tara trying to show us that this Hargrid character is a cool person in this story? I don't know…**

"This cannot be." Snape said crisply, "There must be other factors."

**This dialogue cannot be.**

Blood dripped from Snape's hand. Dumbledore had shot his hand earlier.

**I assume that Snape was injured when Dumbledore waved his wand, which is strange considering that he said no incantations at all…**

"You don't have any!" I yelled angrily.

**Don't have any what? What's going on?**

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly, "The lens may be ruined, but the tape isn't!"

**Stop talking Lupin. I'm busy trying to understand.**

I felt faint. I felt like I hadn't drunk enough blood.

**At least you stopped terrorizing the house elves with your insane breakfast orders. Just imagine what you did to poor Winky!**

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin asked angrily. He rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak.

**Who's doing what? Where are they? What's happening? I think I need some tea…**

Then I heard the words that I had heard before. Earlier I hadn't heard them from him.

**There are four guys in this bathroom, which one is 'him'?**

I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy, or whether to bite him and suck his blood. I felt faint.

"Because," Hargrid said. He paused dramatically. He waved his wand in the air.

**Be careful! The last time someone waved their wands without saying any incantations, Snape got hurt!**

He swooped into the bathroom while singing a song. He was singing the gothic version of a song by '50 Cent'.

**Which song? Details please!**

"Because you're Gothic?" Snape asked. He was afraid that being Gothic had something to do with being connected to Satan.

**Haven't we already established that all the main characters are Satanists? By the way, being Gothic has nothing to do with Satan.**

"Because I love her!" Hargrid screamed.

**Hargrid just came into the story two seconds ago! He doesn't even know Ebony!**

**Edited Out: Random bursts of Caps-Lock. It seems to be a sign of all bad fanfics. Said signs are:**

**1. Bad spelling**

**2. Bad plot**

**3. Bad grammar**

**4. Frequent use of Caps-Lock. I hate Caps-Lock. It makes me shudder…**


	12. Chapter 12

Ch. 12

AN: Stop flaming, ok? Hargrid is a pedophile too. A lot of people in American Schools are like that. I wanted to address the issue. How do you know that Snape is a Christian? Hargrid isn't really in love with Ebony, that was Sedric!

**Erm, who's Sedric? Clearly Tara hasn't read her own story. **

**I feel that if Tara truly wanted to address that issue, than she should have done so in a less ridiculous manner. If you address an issue in such a silly way, no one will take you seriously. Is Tara addressing the issue of vampires, Goths and Satanists as well?**

I was about to slit my wrists again. I was going to slit my wrists again with a silver knife. It was the silver knife that Draco had given me earlier. He wanted me to defend myself with the knife, but I wanted to die. We should die together.

**Don't you have a wand? There are a lot of muggle weapons in this wizard story.**

"No!" Vampire screamed. I thought that it was Hargrid, but it was Vampire.

He screamed, "Oh my ****ing G*d! No! My scar hurts!"

Vampire's eyes rolled back. I could see the whites of his eyes. They were red.

**The whites of his eyes are red? Are they the reds of his eyes?**

I stopped, "How did you know?"

**Know what? I'm very glad that you've stopped slitting your wrists, as well as slightly annoyed that it doesn't kill you. Oh Vampire. Why did you tell her to stop? I could have been done by now. I could have started on Starkit's Prophecy… I guess my readers will just have to wait for that. We curse your name Vampire! Curses!**

"I saw it! My scar turned back into a lightning bolt!"

**I think these guys are having two conversations at once. Also, how do you see your forehead? Scratch that, there are mirrors in a bathroom. J**

"No!" I ran to him, "I thought that you didn't have a scar anymore!"

**Honestly. Ebony, you should have learned by now that there is no consistency in this story.**

"I do, but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram. I always cover it up with foundation, "he responded, "My scar hurts and it turned back into a lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision! I know what's happening to Draco! Voldemort has him at home! He's in bondage!

**Evidently Voldemort has a fetish. Who knew?**

**Also, how is having a pentagram on your forehead any better than having a lightning bolt? Why cover it up with makeup if you go to all the trouble to change it?**

I was now in the school nurse's office. I was recovering from my slit wrists.

**You've slit your wrists plenty of times and you've never been there before. How did you get there so fast? Evidently Mary Sues can teleport!**

Snape, Lupin and Hagrid were there. They were going to St. Mungo's after they got out of the hospital because they were pedophiles. You can't have those ****ing perverts teaching in a school where there are a lot of hot girls.

**Let me get this straight. Snape, Lupin and Hargrid are going to the hospital after they get out of the nurse's office. Why not just send them to the hospital and skip the nurse's office altogether? Also, why would you send pedophiles to a hospital? Do you want them to molest little children in comas? Send them to jail! You could charge them for sexual harassment and for creating child pornography. Send them to a hospital… Good G*d. *facedesk***

Dumbledore had confiscated the video camera that they had used to film me while I was naked.

**But you weren't naked…**

I gave them the finger.

Hargrid sat in my hospital bed. He was holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Ebony, I need to tell you something." He said seriously.

"****off." I said.

**I would be pissed if someone came into my bed while I was inside of it as well. That's just rude.**

"You know that I ****ing hate the colour pink. I don't like ****ed up preps like you." I snapped.

**Do you not like him because he's ****ed up? Or do you not like him because you think that he's prep? Choose wisely.**

Hargrid had been mean to me before becoming Gothic.

"No Ebony," he said, "These are not roses."

**You just said they were roses…**

"What, are they Goths too, you poser prep!" I asked because I was angry. How dare he bring me pink roses!

**Are they roses? Ebony seems to think that they are Goth people who are disguising themselves as a bouquet of pink roses. I must say, that's a very good disguise. I know what I'm doing for Halloween!**

"I saved your life!" He yelled.

"No you didn't," I replied, "You saved me from getting filmed for a porn video! You saved me from being sued by Snape and Lupin!"

**Why would they sue you?**

**Speaking in philosophical terms, Hargrid saved her life. A porn video would have caused Ebony much embarrassment, therefore ruining her life. Philosophically, he saved her life by not allowing Snape and Lupin to publish this porn video.**

**He also saved her life by stopping her when she decided (for the millionth time) to slit her wrists.**

*who MASTABATED to it he added silently.* (AN: See, is that spelled wrong?)

**Yes. Yes, it is. Close, but no cigar.**

"Whatever!" I said angrily.

Hargrid pointed his wand at the pink roses, "These aren't roses."

He looked at them and muttered, "Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say!"

**Edited Out: Random Caps-lock rage**

"That's not a spell, that's an MCR song." I corrected him. I acted wise.

**Don't you know by now that there are no actual spells in this fanfic? The killing curse is the only one that's used correctly!**

"I know; I was just warming up my vocal cords."

Then he screamed, "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio (AN: for all you cool Gothic MCR fans out there, this is a tribute! Especially to you Raven! I love you girl!) imo noto okayo!"

**Well. Isn't that interesting. What the ****? It's not latin… What the **** is it?**

Then the roses turned into a huge, black flame. It floated in the middle of the air. It was black. Now I knew that he wasn't a prep.

**What the fuck are the roses? Will you decide already! I love the reassurement that the black flame, is indeed, black. Who knew?**

"Ok. I believe you now. What the ****is Draco?"

**What? Isn't he a vampire? How could you not already know this?**

Hargrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the ball of flame, but I couldn't see anything.

**Did you see flame?**

"You see Ebony," Dumbledore said. He was watching us, while we were watching the flame, "To see what is in the flames, (Haha! You reviewers flame! Get it?)you must find yourself. Ok?"

**Oh, so it's like finding a hidden power inside your being. Cool. Although I don't get her joke.**

"I have found myself! You're a mean, old man!" Hargrid yelled. Dumbledore was shocked. He didn't have a headache, or else he would have responded.

**Woah! Calm down Hargrid! He's offering advice, not attacking you! Besides, he isn't talking to you!**

As Hargrid stormed out of the room he shouted, "You're a liar Dumbledore!"

When I got better I went up to my room. I put on a black leather minidress. It was frayed around the edges and it had a lace trim.

**How can it be frayed around the edges and have a lace trim?**

*There was some corset stuff on the front.*

**What on Earth is 'corset stuff'?**

I put on some black fishnets and a pair of black, high heeled boots. The boots had pictures of Billy Joe Armstrong on them. I styled my hair so I looked like Samara from 'The Ring'. (If you don't know who she is, you're a prep, so **** off.)

**You want to look like a deformed ghost who's bent on vengeance? Why?**

I put on blood red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

**You can get black lip gloss?**

"You look kawai girl," Bloody Mary said sadly.

"Thanks, you do too." I said sadly. I was still upset.

**Did Ebony say 'thanks' or was it just me? She has manners?**

I slit my wrists because I was depressed. Then I sucked up all the blood.

**…I did something because I feel an aversion to activity. No, I cannot let this drop, this is a particular pet peeve of mine…**

I cried in the bathroom and turned the blinds so that Snape and Lupin couldn't spy on me.

**Erm, aren't they in the hospital?**

I went to some classes.

**It's good to know that you care about your education. You don't seem to care that much, of course now you can't get expelled for doing lousy work, so you have to stay at the school which means that I have to continue editing. *sigh***

I met Vampire in 'Care of Magical Creatures'. He looked depressed because Draco had disappeared.

**I love how she knows how someone else is feeling. Is this a Mary Sue thing?**

He used to be in love with Draco.

**We've heard.**

He was sucking the blood from a Hufflepuff.

**Someone get some Aurors in there! Or something…**

"Hi," he said in a depressed tone of voice.

"Hi," I said in an equally depressed tone.

We looked at each other for a long time. Harry had beautiful gothic red eyes. They looked like Draco's eyes. Then we jumped on each other and we started to have sex.

**Wha? In the middle of class? Seriously? Aurors! Where are they?**

"Stop it now, you horny simpletons!" Shouted professor McGonagall. Everyone was watching us.

**They're probably going to have nightmares. You've scarred several people for life. **

"Vampire, you ****er!" I said as I slapped him, "Stop trying to screw me, you know that I loved Draco!"

**But you jumped on him too. Evidently you don't love Draco, you're just a sucker for red eyes.**

**Edited Out: A repetition of what happened with Harry's scar back in the bathroom. You know, with the reds of Harry's eyes. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Ch. 13**

A/N: Raven, thanks again for helping me with my story. I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard Way, but that guy is such a ****ing sexbomb! Preps stop flaming!

**Edited Out: Unnecessary caps lock**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs. We were looking for Dumbledore because we were so scared.

"Dumbledore! Dumblydore!" We yelled. Dumbledore came over.

"What do you want, you despicable snobs!" He yelled angrily.

**I would be pissed if someone called me like that.**

"Voldemort has Draco!" We shouted in unison.

**Wow, they must have practised that before calling Dumbledore, that's hard to do! As for Draco being captured, he's dead so that really doesn't matter. We have better things to do than chase grave robbers, right?**

Dumbledore gave an evil laugh.

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

**Right?**

"No," he said in a mean voice, "I don't give a darn about what Voldemort does to Draco. He misbehaved a lot with the other students, especially with you Ebony." He looked at me and frowned, "Besides, I never liked him that much."

Then he walked away. Vampire started crying.

"My Draco!" he moaned. (A/N: Don't think that gay guys are, like, so hot!)

**Erm, there's really no point considering that, as gay guys wouldn't be interested in you. Besides, Draco is bisexual in this story, so your authors note makes no sense. It doesn't really apply to the story…**

"It's ok!" I told him, but he kept crying. His tears were made of blood.

**Edited Out: Ebony trying to speak and maybe not succeeding. **

**Just imagine how much blood he's getting on his clothes. Good luck getting that stain out!**

Draco started to brainstorm.

"I have an idea!" he exclaimed.

**As long as it doesn't involve going over to Voldemort's lair, I don't care what you do.**

"What?" I asked.

"You'll see."

Draco took out his wand. He cast a spell.

**Guys?**

Suddenly, we were in Voldemort's lair.

**Erm, guys?**

We took our wands out. We heard a voice croon, "Abra kedavra!"

It was Voldemort!

**Edited Out: nine ellipses between 'was' and 'Voldemort'.**


	14. Chapter 14

Ch. 14

AN: **** off preps! Ok? Raven, thanks for helping me. I'm sorry I couldn't update, but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital because I slit my wrists.

**YOU DID WHAT? Pr9udfkmijooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofrgf**

**You shouldn't do that! EVER!**

PS: I'm not updating until get 10 good reviews!

WARNING: SOME OF THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY SCARY. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

**Well, this whole story is scary so… **

**There's nothing scarier than bad grammar and bad spelling. **

We ran up to Voldemort.

**Did you dodge his spell? Remember the spell Tara? From last chapter?**

It wasn't Voldemort; it was the fat guy who killed Cedric.

**Erm, that ****_was_**** Voldemort…**

Draco was there. He was crying tears of blood. Wormtail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in between Wormtail and Draco.

**Brave, but it's always a bad idea to run between a killer and his/her victim. *whispers* Go Wormtail! Get them! Stab them! *whispers***

*"rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.*

**Woah! What a long sentence! Let's play the option game!**

**1. Wormtail wants Ebony to rid him of his sight. He says that they are preps. As he was talking Ebony and Draco shot him with a gun. How are they sharing a gun? I don't know. As he was being shot Wormtail looked at Ebony and fell down "with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes." Oh joy.**

**2. Wormtail wants Ebony and Draco to get out of his sight. He says that they are preps. As he was talking Ebony and Draco shot him with a gun. How are they sharing a gun? I don't know. As he was being shot Wormtail looked at Ebony and fell down "with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes."**

**See why grammar is important?**

"Ebony, I love you! Will you have sex with me?" he asked. (A/N: in this story he is 16 yrs. old, so he is not a pedophile ok?)

**He may not be, but it's still creepy.**

"Huh?" I asked.

**Aren't you intelligent…**

"Ebony, I love you! Will you have sex with me?" He repeated.

I laughed crudely, "What the ****? You torture my boyfriend, and then you expect me to **** you? G*d, you are so ****ed up, you ****ing *******."

**Hmmm, yes that seems about right, but he is asking, not expecting. As for G*d, I thought that Ebony was a Satanist. What does G*d have to do with this anyways? Is he a character in here as well?**

Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood poured out of the wound like a fountain.

"No!" he screamed.

**Edited Out: "NOOOOOOOOO!" Need I say more?**

He started to run around while he screamed.

**Wow, I didn't think that after being stabbed in the heart you could do that! He's very lively for a severely wounded man isn't he?**

Then he fell down and died. I started to cry because I was so sad.

**I thought that Ebony liked hurting and killing people. Isn't she a sadist?**

"Wormtail, what are you doing?" Voldemort called out.

**Wait a minute, Voldemort tried to kill Ebony at the end of the last chapter, therefore he had to have seen her, which means that he must have seen that whole exchange, so why is he asking Wormtail silly questions? He just saw his minion die!**

**"Oh hello dead minion of mine, how are you doing today? I was thinking that we could go out to see a movie or something, but you look dead, so I'll just have to take your killer out to a movie instead. I hope that you don't mind, bye! See you later!"**

**…I'm so confused…**

Then he came over! His high heels clacked on the floor.

**What? Correction:** **"Oh hello dead minion of mine, how are you doing today? I was thinking that we could go shopping or something, but you look dead, so I'll just have to take your killer out shopping instead. I really need some more high heels; my third closet is completely full! Can you believe that? I hope that you don't mind, bye! See you later!"**

We got on to our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts.

**Where did you get those?**

**I guess poor Voldemort will have to go shopping on his own… *pats a lonely Voldemort***

We went to my room. Vampire went away. I started crying. Draco was taking off his clothes so we could have sex.

**Ewww, necrophilia! Also, it's amazing how much Draco cares about Ebony's feelings. Aren't they in love or something?**

"What's wrong honey?" he asked.

He had a six pack (A/N: get it; because he's so sexy!) and a really big you-know-what and everything!

**A big arm? Leg? Ankle? Head? Clearly I don't know… thank you for your six year old description powers.**

"It's so unfair!" I yelled, "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all of the other girls/preps here! I'm not including Bloody Mary, because she's not ugly."

**Ebony: "Woe is me! I'm beautiful! I dress scantily and for some reason I'm attracting boys like flies! WOE!" **

**Me: "You poor thing."**

"Why would you want to be ugly? I don't like the preps because I think that they are ****ing sluts." Draco said.

**In defense of anyone 'preppy' reading this, they are being very silly. Although some people wear shorts that are very, erm, short, I doubt that they do it to attract every guy that they see. Heck, I can't find any shorts that aren't just a bit too short for my tastes! The stores only sell that kind! It's very frustrating.**

**Also, you don't know that they are "****ing sluts", they could be talking sluts, walking sluts, or dare I say it, walking girls. Also, the only "slut" I see is Ebony.**

**"slut", argh. I hate that word, it's so vulgar. It's impossible to say it without it being an insult. Strange complaint, I know, but still…**

"Yeah, but everyone is in love with me! Snape and Lupin, like, took a video of me while I was naked!"

**Erg, I'm even correcting her slang! That's just wrong on so many levels… By the way, you had a low cut black dress on, so you weren't naked.**

**I think that they're in lust with you. Love needs friendship and all that.**

I continued, "Hargrid says that he is in love with me, Vampire loves me and now even Wormtail is in love with me! I just want to be with you, Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily.

**Erm, G*d creates people, not Satan. He tempts them. She's a Satanist, how could she not know this simple fact? (AN: or not fact, all depends on your religion and what you believe)**

(A/N: Don't worry, Ebony isn't a snob or anything, but a lot of people have told her that she's pretty.)

**All my fears and worries are quelled. *Rolls eyes* …Quelled, isn't that a fun word? Quelled. I love that word.**

I continued, "I'm good at too many things! Why can't I just be normal! It's a ****ing curse!" I shouted, and then I ran away.

**The curse ****s people? Creepy…**

**Even Mary Sues hate Mary Sues!**

**...so…where was the extremely scary part?...**


	15. Chapter 15

Ch. 15  
AN: Stop flaming! You suck! From now on, whenever someone flames me, I'm going to slit my wrists! Thanks for helping me out Raven!

**I wonder if that stopped the flames…**

"Ebony! Ebony! Come back!" Draco shouted.

I was mad.

"Whatever! Now you can go have sex with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed the black door with a red key.

**Wait a minute, you went into your room with Draco, then you run out and he wants you to come back, so you storm into your room and lock both of you inside. What? What was the point in storming out in the first place? Why didn't you just kick Draco out?**

*It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it.*

**1. The key had a picture of Marylin Manson on it.**

**2. The door had a picture of Marylin Manson on it.**

***sigh* I don't know…**

He looked sexy. He reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry. I slit my wrists with a razor.

**That's the millionth time you've done that. If you really want to kill yourself then use a stake.**

I drank the blood. I was depressed. I looked at my black Good Charlotte watch and saw that it was time for my biology class.

**Muggle courses in wizard schools? What?**

I put on a black, gothic dress. It was short and the edges were ripped. It said 'Anarchy' on the front. 'Anarchy' was written in red letters. I put on a spiky belt. I also wore ripped black fishnets and boots. 'Joel' was written on the boots in red. My black hair was down.

**You have no idea how hard that was. **

**Edited Out: Further confirmation that the ripped dress, is indeed, ripped. **

I went downstairs. I was feeling sad and depressed.

**…**

I did some advanced biology work. I turned a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.

**Isn't that transfiguration or something? I know that it's not advanced biology.**

Suddenly the guitar turned into Draco!

**What? How? I'm so confused…**

"Ebony, I love you!" he shouted, "I don't care what those ****ing preps and posers think! You are the most beautiful girl in the world! Before I met you, I wanted to commit suicide, but now I just want to ****ing be with you! I ****ing love you!"

**Obviously Draco isn't doing enough for Ebony, because she's always trying commit suicide. **

Then he sang 'The Chronicles of Life and Death' in front of the whole class!

**Erm, great?**

We consider it our song, because we fell in love while Joel was singing it.

**Wait a moment, in the second chapter Ebony was blushing at the thought of talking to Draco. In the first chapter they met, so was Joel in the first chapter singing softly in the background?**

His singing voice was amazing, gothic and sexy.

**We've heard.**

It sounded like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson.

**Who are these people! How can it be a cross between five different people with different styles? Is Tara throwing random names in there?**

(AN: Don't you think that those guys are so hot? If you don't know who they are, then get the **** out!)

**Does that mean that I can go? Don't worry, I won't. If I did, then all four of my followers would jump down my throat. Thanks for following guys! (AN: the rest of you should click the shiny review, follow or favorite buttons! They don't bite!)**

After he was finished I said, "Oh my ****ing G*d!"

Some ****ing preps were staring at us, but I stuck up my middle finger. My fingernails were covered into black nail polish. They were intertwined with Draco's fingers.

**Is that right? I'm a bit iffy about that last sentence.**

"I love you!" I said. Draco and I kissed just like Hillary Duff (I ****ing hate that *****!) and CMM in 'A Cinderella Story'.

**Who's CMM? Why talk about her if you hate her? Why do you hate her anyways? **

We held hands. We walked out of the classroom. Lupin shouted at us, but he stopped because everyone was cheering. They were cheering because Draco and I looked sexy.

**I thought that Lupin was sent to Mungos?**

I saw an MCR poster. It said that there was a concert playing in Hogsmeade right now. We looked at each other because we were shocked. We went to the concert.


	16. Chapter 16

Ch. 16

AN: You know what? Shut up! Prove that you're not preps! Raven you suck! You are a ****ing *****! Give me my *gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis!* Raven, what the ****? You are supposed to do this! Thanks to britney5655 for teaching me Japanese!

**What was that? Didn't Tara steal Ravens poster? If someone stole my poster I would trash their room…or their posters. I'm a vindictive little girl aren't I?**

We ran to Hogsmeade because we were happy. We saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happily.

**You ran into the stage? That must have hurt.**

MCR was on stage. They were playing 'Helena'. I was so ****ing happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in my pictures of him! Draco thought so as well, I could see him getting an erection. I didn't care because I knew that we were the only ones for each other.

**Then why do you blow up at him half of the time? Most of the time she spends with Draco, she yells at him. Honestly, it's ridiculous. **

**Also, why were you staring at his crotch?**

I was wearing a black leather minidress, black leather boots and red, ripped fishnets.

**Evidently Ebony changed clothes before she ran to the concert.**

Draco was wearing a black, baggy MCR shirt and black, baggy pants. We started to mosh. We French kissed.

**Did you hear that scream? It was our main characters getting trampled by the other moshers. Ouch.**

We ran up to the front of the stage to dive off of it.

**Erm, how can I say this? You have to be on the stage before you can dive off of it. You know that, right?**

Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the rest of the band. We gasped. It was Voldemort and the Death Eaters!

**Go Voldemort! …Is that mean?...**

"What the ****? Draco, I'm not going to a concert with you!" I shouted angrily, "Not after what happened last time! I'm not going, even if MCR is playing, and you know how much I love them!"

**What? You're already at the concert!**

"What? Is it because we… you know," He fidgeted uncomfortably because guys don't like to talk about you-know-what.

**Ahhh, you-know what! That gets them every time.**

**…Wait, what are we talking about?**

"Yeah, because we you-know-whated!" I yelled angrily.

***wince at how I can't make that into a verb***

"We won't do that again, this time we'll go with an escort," Draco promised.

**Edited Out: capitalization of 'escort'. **

"Oh my ****ing G*d! Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked, "So I guess you're a prep or a Christian now."

**That's right; I'll just change my religious beliefs overnight. Come over here so I can slap you.**

**Also, what's going on?**

"No," he muttered.

**Edited Out: loud muttering**

"Are you becoming a prep or what?" I shouted angrily.

**What?**

"Ebony, I'm not! Please come with me!" he fell onto his knees and sang 'The World is Black' by GC.

**Again? Draco needs to get a life and a new girlfriend. He also needs to stop singing like a deranged Hallmark card. Those singing cards always make me want to strangle something.**

I was amazed because that song isn't a single! He had memorized the lyrics just for me!

**Amazing.**

"I guess that I will have to go to the concert with you," I said.

**You're already at the concert! **

**Imagine how awkward this must be for Voldemort. He's standing there trying to look menacing, and Ebony's arguing with Draco. He must be ready to hang up his cloak and quit by now.**

We kissed for a while, and then we went to my room. Bloody Mary was in my room.

"Hajimemashite!" she said happily. (We both speak Japanese. That means 'how do you do'.)

**My G*d! They have manners! Also, according to google translate, that isn't Japanese. I fed it in and my computer crashed. L**

"By the way, that ****ing poser Willow got expelled because she failed all of her classes and skipped math." (AN: Raven ****you! You suck!)

**Erm…right.**

**That's why it's a bad idea to put real life people into your stories! Tara's very vindictive isn't she? They don't have math at Hogwarts.**

"Good!" I gave an evil laugh.

We were feeling depressed. We watched some gothic movies like 'The Nightmare before Christmas'.

**That's a comedy, I'm not sure it's a gothic movie, but I must admit that it is a nice movie.**

"Maybe Willow will die," I said.

"Kawaii," Bloody Mary shook her head.

**That's Japanese for cute isn't it? How is it cute to have a rotting corpse? Ooh! A dead person! It's the cutest thing I've ever seen! *facedesk***

"I have a confession. After Willow left, I killed her and then Lupin did it with her corpse because he has necrophilia," Bloody Mary said.

**Ewww. Gross.**

"Kawaii." I commented.

**What?**

We sat in silence for the rest of the movie.

**Edited Out: Silent talking**

"I'm going to a concert with Draco tonight, so I need to wear the hottest outfit there." I said.

**Wow, two concerts in one night?**

Bloody Mary nodded energetically, "Oh my ****ing G*d! Let's go shopping!"

**Please don't squeal so loudly…**

"We're going to Hot Topic right?" I asked. I was already getting my Hot Topic royalty card.

**What's a royalty card?**

"No," she said.

My head snapped up, "What? Bloody Mary, are you a prep?"

My head spun. I couldn't believe it.

**My goodness, show a different interest and she jumps on you!**

"No!" she laughed, "I found some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts!"

**Edited Out: capitalization of 'no'. **

**Isn't Hogwarts in some damp field somewhere? I don't think there's a mall beside the school.**

"Who showed them to you?" I asked. I was sure that it would be Draco, Diabolo, Vampire or me.

**'Or me'? What?**

"Dumbledore told me, let me get our brooms." She said.

"Oh my ****ing G*d!" I said quietly.

"I saw a Hogsmeade map on his desk." She said.

**What were you doing in his office? Couldn't you have bought a map like a normal person?**

We went to some stores that had been created in honour of the concert in Hogsmeade. The salesman was hotter than Gerard.

**Thank you for that amazing description. At least Tara's not telling us every scrap of clothing that he's wearing.**

He gave me some dresses, "We only sell these to the real Goths."

**How does he know if they are 'real Goths'? Why only sell certain dresses to certain people? He's losing money that way!**

"The real Goths?" we asked.

**I'm confused too.**

"Yes, you wouldn't believe how many posers there are here! Yesterday Snape and Lupin tried to buy a Gothic camera pouch. I didn't even know that they had a camera!" he said.

** Oh no! They escaped from Mungos!**

"Oh my ****ing G*d!" I yelled as I ran out of the changing room, "They're going to spy on me again!"

**That's very self centered of you. What if they just want to take some pictures of birds, or start a career as professional photographers? ****it Ebony, stop crushing people's dreams!**

I was wearing a black dress with a lot of red tulle. It had a large slit and a low cut.

**What the **** is tulle?**

"Oh my S*t*n! You have to buy that outfit!" the salesman told me.

"Yeah, it looks totally hot!" Bloody Mary said.

"I am going to give it to you for free, because you look so hot! Are you going to be at the concert tonight?" the salesman said.

**What? Wasting money!**

**How many **** concerts are playing in one day? The band must be exhausted!**

"Yes, I am. My name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Tara Way, what's yours?" I said.

**Why is Tara in there? Let's hope that the salesperson doesn't have a Mary Sue name.**

"Tom Rid." He said as he ran a hand through his short, black hair, "Maybe I will see you there tonight."

**What? Voldemort is in the store?**

"I don't think so! I am going with my boyfriend! You are a sick pervert!"

**My G*d! It was an innocent remark! Geez.**

Before he could beg, Hargrid flew into the store on his black broom.

**There has to be a law that says something about flying brooms into stores. Is there a bylaw? Anything?**

"Ebony! You need to get back to the castle!" Hargrid yelled.

**…**

**…**

**… Wait a second, when did Ebony go into the change room? **

**AN: This is the longest chapter I think; we hit four and a half pages! Neat!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Ch. 17**

_AN: Hello everyone. I'm JulieTulips and I decided to help out my friend PartingGrace with this story since she's so busy right now and make her job easier since I love it. So I'm now correcting the grammar, excuse me if it isn't as perfect as hers. She said I could put a few comments in, so mine will be in italics. Enjoy!_

**I would like you guys to give a big virtual hand to my coeditor (is that the right word?) JulieTulips! Since I am so lazy, and this story suffers because of it, she is now editing the grammar and spelling mistakes! Then we both put in commentary! Do you know what that means? That means that you** **get:**

**1. More commentary! Yay!**

**2. You don't have to listen to me whine about needing tea and having migraines. Although Julie may need some Advil or something. **

**3. Faster updates! We hope…**

**That's a sweet comment, but I do have a few grammar flaws, not perfect, but thank you for saying so! XD**

AN: I said, stop flaming the story! If you're a prep, then don't read it! You can tell whether you're a prep or not by my quiz, it's on my homepage. If you're not, then you rock. If you are then F*** OFF! P.S. Willow isn't really a prep. Raven, please don't do this, I promise to give you back your poster!

**Don't do what? You know that feeling you get when you're missing half of a conversation? I have that feeling right now… I don't like it.**

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes and stuff for free.

**You're losing money!**

He said he would help us with makeup if we wanted, because he was really into fashion and stuff. (He's bisexual).

_Well, that's just offensive. Stereotyping much? _**No kidding! It's very offensive. I have met so many non-gay hairdressers that it's not funny.**

Hagrid kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts.  
"What the f***, Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "F*** off, you ****ing bastard." Well, anyway, Willow came. Hagrid went away angrily.

**Erm, shouldn't you listen to him? I mean, lots of weird stuff has been happening and it couldn't hurt to make sure that your school is alright. **_Where did Willow come from? I thought she was expelled because Tara was mad at Raven?_** Julie's right! If I remember correctly, Willow was expelled, killed and then ****ed by a necrophiliac. I hate zombies.  
**  
"Hey, b****, you look kawaii," She said.  
"Yeah, but not as kawaii as you," I answered sadly because Willow's really pretty and everything.

**Japanese people everywhere are cringing. (Or anyone who knows Japanese, I'm pretty sure that they're using it in the wrong context as my Japanese is rusty. By rusty, I mean nonexistent.)**  
_Huh, so Tara missed having someone around to fix her grammar without being sick? I can see her point, it's a difficult thing._

She was wearing a short black corset with blood red lace on it and a black blood-red miniskirt. She also wore leather fish-nets and black pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice body, with big boobs and everything. She was thin enough to be anorexic.

**Sorry, leather fish-nets? What?  
**_How does being thin enough to be anorexic make a girl pretty? I'd be concerned if I were you, Ebony._

"So, are you going to the concert with Draco?" She asked.  
"Yeah," I said happily.  
"I'm going with Diabolo," She answered happily.  
Well, anyway, Draco and Diabolo came. They were both looking extremely hot and sexy and you could tell that they thought that we were hot, too. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons of makeup, just like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from the Warped Tower.

**Where is this Warped Tower? I'm currently playing a video game with a warped tower in it, and I thought of that tower and did a double take. I thought, "Argh! Why were they in that tower, there's orcs everywhere!" Then I realized, that them going into a video game is highly unlikely. Also, leather pants. Ick. Hot and sticky. He's going to bake in England's hot, muggy summers. **

Bloody Mary was going to the concert with Dracula. Dracula used to be called Neville but it turned out that he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They died in a car crash.

_Didn't you say yourself that you can't kill a vampire except with crosses and other such things? Then again, who cares, Ebony has done things that should've killed her a few times throughout this story… __**Ahhh… Don't you just love those secret vampire children scattered through this story?**_

_**Edited Out: Our dear friend Navel.**_

Neville has converted to Satanism and he went Goth as well. He is in Slytherin now. He was wearing a black Warped Tower t-shirt, black jeans and shoes. His black hair had red streaks in it. We call him Dracula now. Well, anyway, we all went to Draco's black Mercy-Bens (Get it, because we're gothic) that his dad Lucius gave him. We did pot, coke and crack.

_No, Ebony, bad girl. _**Did it kill you? Can it kill you? Please die!**

**Edited Out: a drugs-are-bad rant**

Draco and I made out.

**You do know that Dracula/Neville and Bloody Mary/Hermione are there, right? I would not make out with someone in front of other people.**

We made fun of those stupid f***ing preps. We soon got there… I gasped.

**You weren't going anywhere…**

Gerard Way was the sexiest guy ever! He looked even sexier than he did in my pictures. He had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing voice.

**Edited Out: Gerard's ethnic voice. I don't think that a voice can be ethnic… Epic, yes, but not ethnic.**

We moshed to 'Helena' and some other songs. Suddenly Gerard popped off his mask. So did the other members of the band. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man with no nose and red eyes. Everyone ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I went to the stage. It was Voldemort and the Death Eaters!

_I AM SO DONE WITH THIS STORY. That's the second time already. Besides, where did they get masks that realistic? I'm very impressed.__** Look what you've done Tara! My poor co-editor has cracked already! Everyone, send PMs to JulieTulips begging her to continue being my co-editor! Hurry! Before it's too late!**_  
_Edited out: Unnecessary ellipses._

"You moronic idiots!" He shouted angstily.

_Pretty sure that isn't a real word.__** I… I don't know… **_

"Ebony, I told you to kill Vampire. You have failed. Now I will kill you and Draco!"

_Edited out: More of Voldemort's terrible Elizabethan English. Is Voldemort a zombie of Shakespeare? That had a bit too much to drink? __**I think that he's just your regular cookie cutter villain actually.**_

Suddenly, a gothic old man flew in on his broomstick. He had long black hair and a very long black beard. He was wearing a black robe that said "Avril Lavigne" on the back. He shot a spell and Voldemort ran away. It was Dumbledore!  
_So now Dumbledore (or as Tara calls him, Dumblydore) is a gothic Avril Lavigne fan? And Voldemort is scared of a few little spells?_

**Time for this chapters treat: facts that will probably convince you that Ebony is, in fact, probably emo.**

**1. Evanescence is categorized as 'Emo' music, and not 'Goth' music**

**2. A person, usually teenage, that has trouble handling his/her own emotions, and/or is emotionally unstable. Can have multiple means of releasing or inducing emotions, such as talking, mutilation(usually of self or inanimate objects), or even listening to music. Most emos are pushed to suicide by others, and usually become emo due to a personality trait that is frowned upon unjustly in society, such as bisexuality. Emos usually do not want to be. Can be considered a mental disorder. (cut and pasted from define/emo)**

**3. Ebony shows 4 of the above mentioned traits: trouble handling her emotions, emotionally unstable, mutilation and listening to music to express her emotions**

**4. Emo" is not short for "Emotional." "Emo" does not mean Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard Confessional, despite what MTV has lead you to believe in the last few years. "Emo" is not sidebangs, tight pants, and male vocalists who sing like little girls about their failed relationships. "Emo" is not the use of diluted, meaningless metaphors and similes such as "My arms are like pinecones," and most definitely is not the rampant use of words such as "autumn," "heart," "knife," "bleeding," "leaves," and "razorblade."**

I just thought I'd clear that up after all of these "definitions" in which I have encountered an unbelievable amount of people who try to pass off their blatantly false pretenses as fact, and are slowly infecting others with their high-horse, holier-than-thou bullshit. Because honestly, with your ridiculous definitions, Beethoven, George Gershwin, and Britney Spears are/was "emo bands."

Now, onto the real definition.

In the early 90s there was a movement in the hardcore genre that came to be known as "Emotive Hardcore," spearheaded by Rites Of Spring. Harder-core-than-thou kids, who swore by Dischord Records a la Minor Threat, actually coined the term "Emo" as something of a put-down for the kids who really liked Rites Of Spring, Indian Summer and this new wave of "Emotive" Hardcore bands. That's right, "Emo" was once not something kids called themselves. The field exploded outwards from there - Level-Plane Records has always been the most famous Emo label. Acts like Yaphet Kotto, I Hate Myself, Saetia, Hot Cross, A Day In Black And White, Funeral Diner, I Would Set Myself On Fire For You, You And I, and hosts of others came in the next decade. Most emo bands have since broken up, but there's still the occasional hold-out (again, the majority of Level-Plane Records' roster has been a procession of emo acts). Like most DIY hardcore/punk of the time, a majority found its way onto vinyl and not much else. Some people consider bands like Fugazi, and later Sunny Day Real Estate, a progression of emo, but personally, I don't quite follow that philosophy.

Often, more recently, this gets intertwined with post-hardcore, and understandably so - that's nothing to make an issue of, since well ****, at least it's close.

Since the late 90s, though, bands have been emerging in the vein of Taking Back Sunday, Dashboard Confessional, and the thousands of their clones. As far as I can tell, some lazy journalist somewhere, writing an article about them, decided "Well, ****, no one knows what emo is anyways, so I'll call these bands "emo" - sounds more appealing than bubblegum pop rock..." and the spiral continued downwards into the current amalgomation of bands MTV has told everyone is "emo."

Somehow, people decided that "emo" meant "emotional," which is obviously bullshit, as 99% of bands make music to illicit emotion, which would make "emotional" a completely all-encompassing genre from classical to opera to pop to rap.

**5. I just thought that that was so well researched it had to be mentioned. BurningBunnyEX wrote this at question/index?qid=20061130155802AAXLN6G**

**6. So most of this wasn't mine, but still, that's pretty neat! …Wait, doesn't the well-researched bit pummel down the former bit? ****.**

**7. Try out the quiz on my homepage! Just for kicks. Comment. Now.**

**We've hit 1000 views! WOOT! If everyone who viewed this commented, I could make this better with your feedback. Commenting is good, it makes me happy, don't you want to make me happy? Thank you for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

Ch. 18

_AN: No, Parting Grace, I'm not quitting, no need for a PM shower. Although I would like it, ha-ha. Thankfully Raven started helping Tara again so it's easier. Enjoy!_

AN: I SAID STOP FLAMING! If you do then you are a f***ing prep! Thanks to Raven for the help and stuff. You rock! And you're not a prep. Thanks for my sweater! P.S. The other reason Dumbledore swore is because he's trying to be gothic, so there!

**That's right, only Goth people swear. *sigh***

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eye shadow, blood-red lipstick and a black dress. It was low cut, ripped around the edges and made of leather. It was ripped so that you could see my belly and my back. I was wearing a belly ring shaped like a skull. It was made out of rubies and diamonds.

**I dare you guys to wear something like that to work/school and see how long it takes before you get sent home for 'violation of dress code.' Also, were did Ebony get that belly ring? It sounds awfully heavy, let's hope it tears her belly out. Or maybe not, Filch would grumble if he had to clean up Mary Sue guts.**

The night before, Draco and I had gone back to the skull (school) (AN: Get it, skull, because I'm gothic and I like death).

_"Haha, you're hilarious, Tara," I said sarcastically._

**I think it's very funny! What are you talking about! (note sarcasm) Also, will we get an explanation of what happened between Dumbledore saving the day and this morning? Were there any thrilling chases? Did you have to cast a spell, and most importantly, was there a plot that was followed, because I am having trouble finding one.**

Dumbledore had chased Voldemort away. We flew to Hogwarts on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR broom.

**I would love to introduce MCR! Broom makers since 2001!**

We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.

**I hope that was a long song because otherwise, that some very short 'you-know-what'. Why are we referring to sex as 'you-know-what'? I don't know.**

_Since when can you customise brooms? And what the HELL is "broom-stuff"? Do you mean the tail? I don't think that would fly very well. _**I think that when she says 'broom stuff', she is referring to the head of the broom. You learn something every day. Also, how did she put lace onto a mass of bristles?**

Well, anyway, I went down to the Great Hall. There, all the walls were painted black and the tables were black too, but you could see that there was pink paint underneath the black pant.

**When were the walls and tables ever painted pink? What the ****?**

There were posters of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

**Erm, Ashlee Simpson isn't a band, she's a musician.**  
_Last time I checked it was illegal to paint over the walls of historic buildings such as Hogwarts._

"What the f**k!" I shouted as I sat next to Bloody Mary and Willow. Bloody Mary was wearing a black leather miniskirt with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came down to her thighs. She also wore black boots and fishnets.

**So was the writing lacy, or was it written in lace?**

Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in because they were bi.

_All of them? Seriously? Tara, you are aware that being bisexual isn't gothic OR emo, right? It's just a type of person. *Shoots Tara* You're welcome, PartingGrace, your job is done.  
Just kidding._** WHY ARE YOU KIDDING! SOMEONE SHOOT HER NOW! SEE WHAT SHE MADE ME DO! NOW I'M IN CAPS LOCK! **** YOU TARA, HONESTLY, I'M SICK OF THIS BISEXUAL GOTHIC VAMPIRE SHIT! I HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH BI'S, BUT THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!**

"Those guys are so f*****g hot," Neville was saying as suddenly a gothic old man - with a black beard and everything – came into the hall. He was the same one who had chased away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had dyed his hair black.  
"DUMBLEDORE?!" We all gasped.  
"What the f**k!" I shouted angrily, "I thought that he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort!"

**Why would that scare Voldemort? I've seen Goths before and they aren't scary, what are you talking about? How can Goths be scary? (Unless they are mean individuals) I'm so confused!**

"Hello everyone," He said happily, "As you can see I gave the room a makeover. What do you think of it?"

_I think that it would be better to just take down the Great Hall altogether than to do that._** Agreed.**

__Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor started to cheer. Well, we Goths just looked at each other all disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!  
"By the way, you can call me Albert," He called as we left for our classes.

_Excuse me, isn't your name ALBUS Dumbledore? Tara, you obviously have hearing problems. And you obviously haven't read the books. Or anything for that matter. Not even a juice carton, I bet._** I'm laughing so hard right now! Welcome to Hogwarts! All the Slytherins are Goth, vampire, orphan, emo people and all the other houses are posers! We have uniforms, but no one really gives a shit about them! By the way, everyone lusts after Ebony. We have currently lost our sorting hat. The poor hat ran away when Ebony went after it with some lace and 'corset stuff'.**

"What a f*****g poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we went to Transfomation class.

**Oh my God! They're going to classes!**

We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (get it, way like Gerard) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's having a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

**Yes, by all means shout. He's standing right next to you! Honestly.  
**_Vampire, aka Harry, is a teenager. He is certainly not in the middle of his life. Do goths die at a young age? Maybe this story will._

I was so f*****g angry.

**Why are you angry?**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19.

I'm not okay, I promise.

**Alright then?  
**_ Admitting it is the first step.  
One more chapter, I'm on a roll and doing three in one day. PartingGrace, you better upload fast!_

**Help! She's flooding my inbox! Eeeeekkk!**

AN: Please stop flaming the story, if you do, you're a ******* prep and you're jealous, okay! From now on I'm going to delete your mean reviews! By the way everyone is a pureblood so there! Thanks to my girl Raven for the help!

_Edited out: random number 1's in between sentences. _**Wh111y wo11u1ll1d yo111u edi111t111 tha111t11?1111?**

All day we sat angrily thinking about Dumbledore. We were so *******pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward to - the MCR concert. It had been postponed, so we could all go.

_HOW MANY CONCERTS ARE IN THIS ******* STORY?! IT ISN'T A SCHOOL ANYMORE, NOR A GOTH /EMO HANGOUT, BUT A TICKET RESALES OFFICE! _**Look what you did to my co-editor! She went all caps lock on us! We'll have to shelter her innocent non-tara-understanding mind!**

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

_Since when has anyone gone to class in this story? Why would you be sad about it? _**I would be ecstatic if I could cut classes and not feel guilty…actually, I wouldn't because I like my classes and I would probably not be able to ever do it. Which is good because it's a bad thing to do. None of you guys cut classes right? Right? Guys?**

I asked him why he was mad and he got all mad at me and started crying all hot and angsty (AN: Aren't sensitive bi guys so hot?).

_I'm going to let PartingGrace comment on this one since I'm simply not hilarious enough. Also, I'm still not sure if angsty or angstily are real words. _**Why thank you for letting me take center stage! I really don't think that 'sensitive bi guys' would be all that cute. Especially when 'sensitive' doesn't means that he's going to get mad at you for caring about whether he feels happy or not. I would not want my boyfriend blubbering on me all the time and then blubbering more when I try to help him. Not that I have a boyfriend, but honestly, wouldn't it get tiring after a while?**

"No one ******* understands me!" he shouted angrily as his black hair went into his big red eyes like Billie Joe's in Boulevard of Broken Dreams. He was wearing black baggy pants, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (Get it, instead of tie, because I'm gothic.) I was wearing a black leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a black leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly ring. My hair was all up in a messy, really high bun like Amy Lee's in 'Going Under'. (E-mail me if you want to see the pic.)

**Why do clothes matter right now! I'm so confuzzled! ARGH! Also, why are there chains on her top? Are they light chains, because of they were heavy chains I would be mildly concerned for Ebony's health. Just mildly. Maybe vaguely…ok, not at all. Why does she have a cross shaped belly ring? She's a vampire! Vampires can't wear crosses unless they want a cross shaped brand on their skin!  
**_Never in my lifetime would I email you, Tara._

"Excuse me? What about me!" I growled.  
"But-but-but-" he grunted.

_He did not grunt, he stuttered._

__"You ******* bastard!" I moaned.  
"No! Wait! It's not what it ******* looks like!" he shouted.

**What's not what what looks like? He was only crying. What?**

But it was too late. I knew what I heard. I ran to the bathroom angrily, crying. Draco banged on the door. I wept and wept as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my face like Benji in the video for Girls and Boys (Raven, that is so our video!)

**Edited Out: the tears falling down Ebony's 'feces'. At least she spelled it right.**

I took out a cigarette and started to smoke pot.

_Edited out: capitalisation of I TOOK OUT A CIGARETTE AND STARTED TO._

__Suddenly Hagrid came. He had Apparated.

**Why would he want to go near you?**

"You gave me a *******shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot.

_Stress shock? Medical shock? Anaphylactic shock? Please tell me, I know first aid, I need to know so I'll know exactly how to kill you and this story! _**Are you sure that killing people is the proper way to use first aid classes?**

"What the **** do you think you're doing in the girl's room?"  
Only it wasn't just Hagrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it to be Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumbledore.  
"Hey, I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wannabe-gothic purse. "What are you wearing to the concert?"  
"You know who MCR is?!" I gasped.  
"No, I just saw that there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks were going to." He said. "Anyway, Draco has a surprise for you."

_PartingGrace, you have your tea, so lucky you. I don't use Advil, but I think I'm going to need some coke very soon. THE DRINK, PEOPLE, THE DRINK! _***gasp*, dear readers, don't go on coke like my poor co-editor! She has evidently snapped under the strain of being my co-editor! Don't do it! Drugs are bad and the use of refreshing beverages is a good way to remove Tara stress, so I encourage you to drink as much pop as you want! Just leave some coke for my poor Julie, and some peppermint tea for me.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

AN: I said, I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, okay, preps? Thanks to Raven for the help! Oh yeah, by the way, I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next three days so don't expect updates.

_Nice vacation spot. _**I for one would mind going to a different country in my summer. I'd rather stay at home with my books and my computer. Who knows what the internet connection is like in Transylvania?**

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a black leather miniskirt, a black corset with purple lace stuff all over it, and black gothic compact boots. MCR was going to do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one.

**Too many concerts!**

I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited.

**I feel excited, so I'm going to slit my wrists while I mosh to a song. Wait, what? Her wrists must be covered in scars by now. Scars and scabs, ick.**

Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to 'Thank you for the Venom'.

**Introducing Ebony: Queen of Multitasking. Can you dance, slit your wrists and try on clothes at the same time?**

I got all mad and turned the music off, but secretly I hoped that it was Draco so we could do it again.

_Do what? You've done so many things._

"What the ******* h*ll are you doing?!" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Are you going to come rape me or what?" I yelled.

_What happened to Hello? _**Shouldn't he be in Mungos? Is there nobody responsible at Hogwarts?**

I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since he was a pedophile.

_You didn't figure that out on your own yet?_** Ah, so that's why**

"No, actually, (get it, hell) can I please borrow some condoms?" he growled angrily.

**Wait, get what?**

"Yah, so u can **** your six-year-old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sadistically.

_Might've been sarcastically. Her spelling is that bad._ **It has to be sarcastically, sadistically doesn't make sense here.**

"****er." He said, going away.  
Well anyway, I put on some black eye shadow, black eyeliner, black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went to the great hall. Then I gasped….Snape and Lupin were in the middle of the empty hall, doing it, and Dobby was watching!

_Snape and Lupin, traumatising house-elves since 2006 (publication of My Immortal)._**Ebony is the one ordering blood cereal every morning. Poor house elves. **

"Oh my g*d, you ludicrous idiot!" they both shouted angrily when they saw me.

_Did Tara just use a complicated word, even though it's most likely in the wrong context?_ **Actually, it would be in the right context, except for the fact that everybody goes to the great hall in the morning to eat breakfast. If it were, say, midnight, then it would be ludicrous.**

Dobby ran away crying. They got up, though. Normally I would have been turned on (I love seeing guys do it) but both of them were ******* preps. (By the way, Snape is moved to Gryffindor now.)

_You can't just move people around wherever you want!_

"What the ****, is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked sarcastically. (AN:See, I spelled that!)

**But two boys wouldn't need condoms. Who's going to get pregnant?**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin shouted angrily.

_Edited out: Our dear friend Lumpkin. _**Awwww, but I liked Lumpkin!**

"Well you should've told me." I replied.  
"You dimwit!" Snape began to shout angrily. And then I took out my black camera and took a picture of them. You could see that they were naked and everything.  
"Well excuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"  
"It was to blackmail you," I smirked. "So now, next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you can't ******* rat me out or I'll show this to Dumbledore. So **** off, you bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and they tripped over it.

_Pretty sure she meant wand, but this is way funnier. PartingGrace, you may commence on this one._ **Sorry, I'm too busy laughing to say anything funny!**

Well, anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely ******* hot.  
"What the ****, where's Draco?" I asked him.  
"Oh he's being a ******* bastard. He told me he wouldn't come." Vampire said shaking his head. "You want to come with me? To the concert?"

_Why isn't he coming? Is there any reason for it?_** Maybe he's dead, cross your fingers everybody!**

Then he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dog-father Sirius Black had given it to him.

_Oh for ****'s sakes._** Seriously? She couldn't have made that more ridiculous?**

The license plate on the front said MCR666 on it. The one on the back said 'EBONY' on it.

_Edited out: The beautiful Enoby._** License plates must match. It's the law isn't it?**

I gasped.  
We flew to the concert hall. MCR was there, playing.  
Vampire and I began to make out, moshing to the music. I gasped, looking at the band.

**How do you make out and mosh at the same time? They probably just got stampeded.**

I almost had an orgasm. Gerard was so ******* hot!

_I need to keep a count of how many times she says that while at an MCR concert. Starting now. One. _**Make that 7ish.**

He began to sing 'Helena' and his sexy, beautiful voice began to fill the hall. And then, I turned and saw Draco, crying in a corner.

_Edited out: Further reassurance that crying Draco was indeed crying.  
By the way, I've done some research, and I would like to alert the readers of this fanfic, as well as PartingGrace, that there is actually a video web series based on My Immortal. No, I'm not kidding. If I ever watch it, it will be with an entire freezer of Coke(the drink). THE DRINK! _**Why would I ever watch it? Is it a parody?**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

AN: **** you, okay? You ******* suck. It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong, okay, because that b*tch raven corrects it. **** you preps! Woops, sorry, Raven, thanks for the help. By the way, Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed.

_Way to go, Tara._** Why didn't she delete 'because that b*tch raven corrects it'? She obviously needs a new editor. Or a grammar/spelling lesson. Maybe both?**

Later we all went in the school. Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco, are you okay?" I asked.

_Edited out: Ebony's "gothic" voice. _**You edited out her gothic voice? But how will we know that she's gothic if she doesn't say it in a gothic voice? What is she? My world is crumbling!**

"No, I'm not, you ******* *****!" he shouted angrily. He started to run out of the place in a suicidal way.

_How do you run in a suicidal way? _**Running with cutting tools?**

I started to cry because I was afraid he would commit suicide.

_So why don't you run after him instead of standing there and crying like the little ******* ***** that you are? _**Didn't he already commit suicide? Why is she concerned about her zombie/vampire boyfriend committing suicide if he's already dead to begin with? Wait, aren't vampires a form of undead? Did he kill himself twice? Wait, what?**

"It's ok, Ebony," said Vampire comfortingly. "I'll make him feel better."  
"You mean you'll **** him, don't you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran to get Draco. Vampire came too.

**Woah! Really jumping the gun there! Whatever you do, don't try to comfort Ebony, she will assume that: 1. You must be in love with her. 2. You must be trying to have sex with either her or her boyfriend. 3. That you're a poser because Tara Goths don't have those warm fuzzy emotions.**

"Draco, please come!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was so turned on because I love sensitive bi guys. (If you're a homophobe, then **** off!)

**Oh look, a crying man. He must be sensitive! What if he's crying because he has a knife stuck in his foot or something like that?**

And then we heard some footsteps. Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak.

**How is it an invisibility cloak if it's black? Does it disguise you as a shadow?**

We both got under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

**Sorry, flashlight?  
**_I'm going to do a PartingGrace here. A few possible meanings (PG, feel free to add more!):  
1. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor in the hallway where they were. He was shouting angrily. He had a flashlight in his hand.  
2. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor underneath the cloak. He was shouting angrily. He had a flashlight in his hand.  
3. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor underneath the cloak. He was angry. Both he and the flashlight in his hand were shouting.  
4. Vampire and Ebony got under the invisibility cloak. They saw the janitor underneath the cloak. The janitor had a flashlight implanted in his hand. Both he and the flashlight were shouting. The janitor was angry. _

**Eek, flashlight implant. I think you pretty much covered everything with that one.**_  
_  
"Who's there!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filch come over. He went under the invisibility cloak and started to meow loudly.

_Yeah, switch the character's names. The cat is Mrs. Norris and the janitor is Filch. Even if you only saw the movies, you should know that!_** Filch is meowing? Wait, what?**

"Is anyone there!" yelled Mr. Norris.  
"No, **** you, you preppy little poser son of a ******* *****!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.

_Again, Tara meant breath, but this is way funnier._** Who cares! Option game!**

**1. Vampire pulled out his breast, put it on his head and spoke.**

**2. Vampire pulled out a chicken breast that was in his pocket, put it on his head and then spoke.**

**3. Vampire pulled out his spare breast and put it on his head, and then he spoke. Vampire sure is prepared! He has a spare breast in his pocket, because you never know when you or some poor person needs a breast transplant! I would be disgusted too if I put a slab of raw breast meat on my head…**

"Excuse me! Who said that!" yelled Mr. Norris.

Then he heard Filch meow, "Filch is there, under the cloak!" he said. Filch nodded. And then Vampire frenched me! He did it just as Mr. Norris was taking off the cloak!

**Wait, Filch is telling Ms. Norris that Filch is under the cloak? What's going on?**

"What the-" he yelled but it was too late because now we were running away from him.

**Edited Out: Capitalization of every little thing that Filch/Ms. Norris says. Why was it in caps? I don't know, maybe to add in *emphasis*. I once played a video game where anything that was emphasized was in *asterisks*. Annoyed the shit out of me.**

Then we saw Draco crying and bursting into tears and slitting his wrists outside of the school.

**Bursting into tears implies that he has just started to cry, while crying implies that he's already crying. Was he crying when they came, or did he start crying when they came? I'm so confused… what's happening?**

"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"  
"I guess, though." Draco wept.

_Just like that? Really? *facedesk* _

**Ebony: Are you ok?**

**Draco: Oh yeah, I'm only bawling and slitting my wrists, of course I'm not ok! What the **** do you think! B*tch!**

**Ebony: Poser!**

**Draco: OMG! SHE THINKS I'M A POSER! MY WORLD IS CRUMBLING!**

**Me: *sigh***

We went back to our coffins frenching each other.

**Ah, frenching and walking at the same time. Never gets old.**

Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (AN: See, isn't that depressing?) on the gothic red bed together.

**That's a horror/comedy. How does it make you not want to do anything? Wouldn't it make you want to laugh and scream? Obviously someone isn't doing their job.**

As I was about to put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knock on the door and *Fug and da Mystery of Magic* walked into the school!

_Fudge and the Ministry of Magic? _**Oh my God! They're walking into the school! Quick, mob them! *sigh***


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

AN: Shut the f*** up! Preps stop flaming, okay, if you don't like it, f*** off! I know it's Mr. Norris, it's Raven's fault, okay! You suck! No, just kissing Raven you ****ing rock, preps suck!

**No, no, it's Filch and Ms. Norris. It's not that hard! Also, why are you blaming things on Raven and then kissing her? I'm sure Raven would object to this.**

All day everyone talked about the Ministry of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing black lacy leather pajamas. Then I gasped.  
Standing in front of me were…. Bloody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!

_I thought guys couldn't get into the girl dorms? _**Do sparkly Vampire/Fairies/Edward Cullen things count as male?**

I opened my crimson eyes.

_Ah, opening your eyes when you're already looking around while describing an eye colour. The only other thing Ebony can do is wear an "I'm a Mary Sue" t-shirt. With lace and leather, of course. _**You forgot the corset stuff! What would Ebony say? …Actually, she'd probably call you 'goffic'. Then you'd run over to my house for shelter.**

Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poufy skirt with lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top.

_Her boots were attached to her shirt?! What?! _**Erg, corset and ballet tutu look. *cringe* I'm sorry, but nothing can make that look dignified. Tutu's and leotards are alright, but tutus and corsets are not. Actually, corsets are never good.**

Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and black jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just like Gerard Way, and almost as ****ing sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. Bloody Mary was wearing a tight black poufy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed off all of her cleavage with a white apron that said '**tch' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too.

_WHO THE **** IS JENNY?!(*# &$*#& euhriuwehfuhf _**Jenny? What? What's happening?**

**Why is she showing 'all of her cleavage'? Isn't that like going around without a shirt? Or going around with your breasts poking out of a giant hole in your top? Has anyone at Hogwarts heard of a dress code?! Also, why an apron? Is she cooking something? Helping traumatized house elves with the chores?**

She was wearing a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crabbe and Goyle.

_Nice clothing choices, Crabbe and Goyle ._**Is the aforesaid 'ripped stuff' stapled to her dress? That must be uncomfortable… **

**Poor Crabbe and Goyle… Darkness/mystery girl is making them wear dresses.**

It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became gothic and converted to Satanism.

**1. Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad are vampires. They combined into one person (power rangers!) and raped some random mystery people. They stuffed them with stuffing. They got depressed, converted to Satanism, turned gothic, and then slit their wrists. Or should it be his wrists? They are now one person…**

**2. Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad are vampires. They combined into one person (power rangers!) and raped themselves. They stuffed themselves with stuffing. They got depressed, converted to Satanism, turned gothic, and then slit their wrists.**

**3. The fathers of Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle are vampires. They raped their children, stuffed them and then committed suicide. The children then became depressed, gothic, vampire Satanists. **

**4. The father of Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle is a vampire. He killed himself. His ghost then raped his children and stuffed them with stuffing. His kids became depressed, vampire, gothic Satanists.**

**5. I'm so tired of this paragraph… Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad are vampires. They combined into one person (power rangers!) They committed suicide, turned into ghosts, raped who knows what, stuffed who knows what and then scarred their children for life. That's it! That's all I'm doing! 5 choices are enough!**

**6. But I do love a nice, even number so Darkness, Diabolo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad are vampires. They combined into one person (power rangers!), killed themselves, raped themselves and stuffed themselves. Their kids became black wearing, Satan loving vampires. *pant pant pant*  
**  
_Surprise, surprise ._**So tired…**_  
_"Oh my ****ing G*d!" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the f*** are u all here?"

**What are you yielding to?** **Are you yelling?**

"Ebony, something is really ****ed up," Draco said.  
"OK but I need to put my ****ing clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

**Aren't you wearing clothes already?**

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. You're so ****ing beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.  
"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why you're being all erective."  
"I will, I will." he said.  
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eye shadow and white foundation. Then I came.

**WAIT DID YOU JUST WALK OUTSIDE NAKED! Uuuuuuuudiouyrre948y03ewjif[ohr]**

**U=E**

**SHE'S GOING TO FREEZE! DRESS CODE! DRESS CODE!**

We all went outside the Great Hall and looked out a window.

**Edited Out: Ebony and co. looking out a widow**

A ****ing prep called Britney from Gryffindor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her.

**What did she do to you? That's clothist! Is that a word? It is now.**

Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledore. Cornelius Fudge was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Umbridge was there too.

**Edited Out: Our good friend RumBridge and Cornelia Fudge**

"This cannot be!" she shouted angrily. "The school must be closed!"  
"The dark lord is planning on killing the students!" yelled Cornelius Fudge.  
"You are not fit to be the principal any longer!" yelled Umbridge. "You are too old and your Alzheimer's is dangerous! You must retire or Voldemort will kill your students!"

**Since when is Alzheimer's contagious? How do they know Voldemort's plans? Are they in league with him, or is this more Tara shit? Do you want to close the school or retire Dumbledore? It's a bit silly to do both at the same time…**

**Edited Out: Obsessive caps lock**

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "But we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way."

_*Facedesk* _**Poor Harry is feeling unloved…**

Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and Bloody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.

**Tara will not have the last word. I officially claim the last word. It's my precious.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.  
AN: Shut the **** up, b**ches! You're just jealous because I got 10 000 reviews! Thanks to Raven for the help and telling me about the box, girl you rock, let's go shopping together!

**Ooh! Box! Shiny! By the way, while more reviews would be nice, I get a lot of views, so I'm very happy!**

The door opened and Professor Umbridge and Cornelius Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledore and Umbridge saw us.  
"Ms. Way, what the beep are you doing!" Umbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore glared at her.

**I didn't put beep in, honest. Also, I think it's pretty obvious that 'Ms. Way' is listening to your conversation.**

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrected her. "She means hi everybody come in!"

_Yeah… that's what she meant…. _**By that Julie measn that you should all worship me. Please start erecting altars and sacrificing things in the name of me and all my gloriousness.**

Well we all came in angrily.

_Why are you angry?_

So did all the other students.

**How many people are eavesdropping? Oh wait, it's morning. That means breakfast, so never mind.**

I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite Bloody Mary.

**I'm sure that there's a less clumsy way of saying that.**

Crabbe and Goyle started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.

**Found nothing for 'ville vollo', although Ville Valo is a many tattooed rock musician. Tattoos include a heartagram, portraits of people such as Maya Deren, Claus Kinsky and Charles Bukowski. The man loves tattoos. What's a heartagram?**

I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup.

_Poor elves.. poor, poor elves… _**Winky must be in a coma by now.**_  
_Then I heard someone shouting angrily. I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shouting at each other.  
"Vampire, Draco, what the ****?" I asked.  
"You ****ing b*st*rd!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to sh*t next to her!"

_I think she meant sit, but this is something else I'm leaving in._** I don't think Ebony (or anyone) would like that.**

"No, I do!" shouted.  
"No, she doesn't ****ing like you, you son of a b**ch!" yelled Draco.  
"No, **** you, m*********er, she loves me, not you!" shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (AN: No, not in that way, you perv!) They started to fight and beat up each other.

**I love how even though everyone lusts after your main character, there is a lot of sex, there's a lovers spat, you bring up strange things like 'girl orgasms' and getting turned on by practically every living thing, we're the pervs. Ah, Tara logic.**

Dumbledore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew through fell apart.

**Did the window break before or after he flew in?**

Britney, that ****ing prep, started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting. I stopped eating. Everyone gasped. The room fell silent. It was Voldemort!

**Compared to the other noseless men flying around on broomsticks.**

**Edited Out: Random ellipses**

"Ebony…..Ebony…." Darth Vader said evilly in his raspy voice. "You have failed your mission. Now I will kill you and I will kill Vampire as well. If you don't kill him before I do, then I will kill Draco too!"  
"Please, don't make me kill him, please!" I begged.

**Just shoot him. What? No one here uses wands anyways.**

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

**Kill him, or I will kill him anyways. What?**

I burst into tears. Draco and Vampire came to comfort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic.

**Yeah, rolling eyes are uber goffic. Kill me now. Get me some tea and a pillow.**

I had a vision where I saw some lightning flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

**Why try to kill Draco if he's killing himself? Of course, he could have been having fun, wrist slitting is Draco's, Vampire's and Ebony's hobby. At this point, I'm surprised that they haven't had a three way, blood drinking orgy thing by now.**

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I looked up and stopped having the vision.

**Because screaming 'no' is so sexy. If you like someone, just scream no in their face. Don't even let them say anything before or after you scream. After screaming, burst into tears and run away from them. They'll be sending you love poetry and singing you random songs before the end of the day! If it doesn't work, then that means that you live in a dimension where Tara isn't controlling everything. That's good. Go throw a party for not living in a Taraverse!**

**Did that make sense to you, because I'm rereading it and thinking, "What the ****?"**

"Ebony, Ebony, are you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.  
"Yeah, yeah," I said sadly as I got up.  
"Everything's all right, Ebony," said Vampire, all sensitive.

**Comforting does not equal sensitive.**

"No, it's not!" I shouted angrily. Tears of blood went down my face. "Oh my ****ing g*d, what if I'm getting possessed like in The Ring 2?!"

**Note to self: Don't watch the Ring two. Tried to read the plot on Wikipedia and got very confused.**

"It's ok, girl," said Bloody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sinister about what the visions mean, though."  
"Okay, b***h," I said sadly and then we went away.

**Last word.  
**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24.  
AN: Preps, stop flaming the story, you're just jealous, so **** you, okay, go to h*ll! Raven thanks for the help!

**You're a Satanist, so is hell your version of heaven? Why would you wish hated enemies to your version of heaven?**

Well we had Divination next so I got to ask Professor Trelawney about the visions.

_Edited out: The amazing Professor Trevolry. _**What about proff. Sinister? Isn't she Trelawney's 'goff' version?**

"Konnichiwa, everybody, come in," said Professor Sinister in Japanese.

_It's Trelawney! _**It's a clone.**

She smiled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's the coolest ****ing teacher ever. She had long, dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (Her mom was a vampire.)

_*Face. Desk.* _**Sorry, did you say vampire? I say stake to the heart! Die evil, fiendish Edward Cullen/Vampire/Goth/Clone thing!**

She's also half Japanese so she speaks it and everything.

**Because languages are passed onto children through DNA. Do you know how many languages I would know if that were true? A lot.**

She and Bloody Mary get along great. She's really young for a teacher. Today she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long gothic black ripped dress.

**A top and a dress? How can you pull that off and not look silly? Try putting a dress on, then put a top over it. Bonus points if you don't normally wear dresses.**

We went inside the black classroom with posters of Emily the Strong.

**Found things for Emily the Strange, but no hulk named Emily. Sorry.**

I raised my hand. I was wearing some black nail Polish with red pentagrams on it.

**My friend Julie can do much better nail art than that.** **She once painted the Union Jack on all of her fingernails. How on Earth do you pull that off?**

****"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey I love your nail polish, where'd you get it, Hot Topic?"  
"Yeah." I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some things. When do you want to do it?"  
"How about now?" she asked.  
"Okay," I said.  
"Okay, class, ****ing dismissed everyone." Professor Trelawney said and she let everyone go. "Except for you, Britney." She pointed at Britney and some other preps. "Please do exorcize (Get it?) 1 on page 3."

**Oh, Trelawney's back. Hi! What did Britney do? Why are you dismissing class moments after it started? I wish my teachers would do that, then I could read more books. If they did I could sneak my laptop into the library and spend all day playing video games! I like this plan!**

"Okay, I'm having lots of visions," I said in a worried voice. I was so worried that Draco was going to die.  
She gave me a black crystal ball to look into. I looked at it.  
"What do you see?" she asked.  
I said, "I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

**Congrats, you're a Goth Mary Sue.**

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at the door. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and black Congress shoes.

**A sink facet?**

"Okay you can go now, see you, cunt." said Professor Sinister.

_Wow, incredibly helpful teacher, huh? _***wince***

"Bye b****." I said waving.  
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so excited.

_For what?! _**Who cares! Chapters over!**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

_AN: Sorry for the slow updates, I'm sending these in batches. I'm actually sick at the moment and I have a mountain of homework to catch up on. Love you all!_

AN: Stop flaming, okay?! If you don't, then I'll tell Justin to beat you up! And I'll tell all the nerds to put viruses in your computer! F*** YOU! Raven, thanks for the help!

_Oh, now she's threatening us with nerds, everybody run! Except me, because I'm a nerd myself._** Did she admit that something besides preps and goths exist? Who is this? Are you sure this is Tara?**

I was so excited. I followed Draco wondering if we were going to do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car.  
"Ebony, what the f***did Professor Trelawney say?" Draco whispered putting his gothic white hand with black nail polish on mine.  
"She said she would tell me what the visions meant tomorrow," I grumbled in a sexy voice.

**Sexy grumbling? You've got to be joking.**

He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to smoke. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.

_The top of what? The top of being high on illegal drugs? _**No, the tree. At least I think so.**

"And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me,"  
Sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started taking off each other's clothes fervently. He took off my black thong and my black leather bra.

**Again with the uncomfortable undergarments? It's a small miracle that Draco isn't stuck with leather boxers!**

I took off his black boxers. Then… he put his throbbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

_I'm a 15-year-old virgin, but I'd find it creepy if I'm about to have sex with a guy and his "you-know-what" is "throbbing"… _**I find this fanfic creepy.**

"Oh my ****ing g*d, Draco, Draco!" I screamed having an orgasm. We stated frenching passively.

_Doesn't passively mean calmly? I'm sure she meant passionately._** Gotta love passive frenching.**

Suddenly… I fell asleep.

_Wow, Draco must give boring sex._

I started having a dream. In it, a black guy was shooting two gothic men with long black hair.  
"No! Please don't ****ing kill us!" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.  
"No! Oh my ****ing g*d!" I shouted in a scared voice.  
"Ebony, what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

_Ebony has crimson eyes if I'm not mistaken. Or forest green or some other Mary Sue color._** Fun fact: almost everyone except Ebony has red eyes. Why is this true? Isn't Ebony supposed to be an uber taragoth? **

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face.

**Crying makes tears run down your face? My world is crumbling!**

I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his black Linkin Park mobile. But the worst thing was who the people who were shot in the dream were -Lucius and Sirius!

**Why is that bad?**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

AN: PREPS, STOP FLAMING THE STORY, OKAY! If you don't like the story then go f*** yourself, you ****ing preps! YOU SUCK! Oh, and I wasn't being racist, okay?!

**It's only racist if the black man was shooting people because he is black. Then it would be racist, but no, it's not racist.**

A few mutates later Vampire came to the tree. He was wearing a black leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Charlotte t-shirt.

What the h*ll is a Jackson?

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob.

**Ack! Flirtily? *Has editor breakdown***

Draco hugged me sexily trying to comfort me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

**You were already crying, when did you stop?**

"Oh f*** it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He started to cry sadly. "What ****ing d***did that?!"  
"I don't know." I said. "Now come on, we have to tell Dumbledore."  
We ran out of the tree and into the castle. Dumbledore was sitting in his office.

**Wait they were all in the tree? How did they not fall out? How do you park a car in a tree in the first place!**

"Sir, our dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wiped some tears from his white face.

_Since when is Sirius Ebony's dad? _**Actually, it's will be shot. Future tense.**

__"Ebony had a vision in a dream."  
Dumbledore started to cackle. "Hahahaha! And how do you expect me to know Ebony's not delusional?"

**Edited Out: a divisible Ebony**

I glared at Dumbledore.  
"Look mother****er." he said angrily as Dumbledore gasped (AN: See, is that out of character?).

**Do you really want to know?**

"You know very well that I'm not delusional. Now get some ****ing people out there to look for Sirius and Lucius- pronto!"

**Edited Out: decisional Ebony. So many Ebony's!**

"Okay." he said in an intimated voice. "Where are they?"

_Since when does Dumbledore just do what his students want?! _***facedesk***

I thought about it. Then all of a sudden….. "London." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff.

**Ahh, stuff. What did he do?**

After a few minutes he came back and said people were going out to look for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all went to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurse's office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room.

_Why are you going to the nurse's office? _**Wait, I thought that they were going to their rooms.**

We looked at each other's gothic, depressed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Sirius and Lucius came in on stretchers….and Professor Sinister was behind them!

_Surely, surely they'd be brought to St Mungo's if they were injured. They aren't Hogwarts students._** It's just amazing how much I don't care.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27. Vampires will never hurt you.  
AN: You know what! I don't give a **** what you preps think about me! So stop flaming the ****ing story b****es! Thanks to Raven for your love and support and help I love you girl! Sorry I couldn't update, lol. I was really depressed and I slit my wrists. I had to go to the hospital. Raven you rock, girl!

_Is that supposed to be funny? Depression isn't funny. It's terrifying. I know from experience, although thankfully I got out before I could start slitting my wrists and attempting suicide… _***hugs Julie***

**I believe that's the second time that she's done that. I want to give her a good slap for even trying to kill herself.**

Everyone in the room stated to cry happily- I had saved them. Draco, Lucius, Sirius and Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

**Why is the nurse giving Draco, Lucius, Sirius and Vampire medicine? Only two of those people have been shot, and you don't give medicine to people with bullets in them. I don't know first aid, but I'm pretty sure that's not what you should do.**

"Come on Ebony," said Professor Sinister. She was wearing a gothic black leather dress with a corset top and real vampire blood on it and ****ing black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the ****ing perdition."

_The what? _**Is she explaining the concept of perdition? Now's really not the time.**

I locked at Lucius, Sirius, Draco and Vampire. They nodded.  
I smelled happily and went into a dark room.

_Ah, smelling. Doesn't it just bring joy to the world?_ **Whenever I feel sad, I smell things, and everything seems better!**

I had changed.

**Changed clothing? Changed personality? Changed into full vampire form? Changed into a werewolf? Changed philosophical views on your existence?**

Professor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crystal ball. She said… "Tara, I see dark times are near."

_No comment. _**Maybe you should use a clear crystal ball. You may see the future more clearly. **

She said badly. She peered into the ball. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Turner like Bloody Mary had. "When Voldemort was in Hogwarts before he became powerful, he got his heart broken. Now, do you think he would still become Voldemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. "You must go back in time and seduce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

_JUST KILL HIM IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO THE **** BACK IN TIME! WHY RISK IT?! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN 'HOW HARRY POTTER SHOULD HAVE ENDED'? _**Lol, I love that video! It's on youtube, so check it out!**

"Okay." I said sadly. *We did dethz tuch sin. * I went outside again sadly.  
"What ****ing happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.  
"Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Bloody Mary.

_Wow, impressive simultaneous speaking._** Wow, impressive simultaneous speaking.**

I was about to tell them but everyone was there. They were celebrating Lucius and Sirius being found. Everyone was proud of me but I just wanted to talk to Draco. They were cheering my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumbledore. A banner was put up. Lots of ****ing preps were there obviously trying to be gothic, wearing the HIM sign on their hands- despite them not having actually heard of him.

**Who's HIM? To put up HIM signs, they would have had to at least heard of HIM. I doubt that they're writing random words down.**

Even Filch looked happy.

**Quick! Get a camera!**

A black and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyle set up some fireworks in the shape of skulls from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes.

_Pretty sure Fred and George wouldn't sell skull fireworks. They'd look like Dark Marks._

I put on my Invisibility cloak with Vampire and Draco and we snuck outside together.

**Last word is mine!**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.  
AN: I said, stop flaming the story, it was a mistake when professor Trelawney said that, okay! GO TO ****ING H*LL! YOU SUCK! Thanks to *fily* for the help! Raven, have fun with kiwi!

_I have so many questions about this authors note._** I don't get the authors note even though it's in English. **

We went into a black room.

_I thought they had snuck outside to talk? _**Black room built outside?**

The walls were black with portraits of gothic bands like MCR, GC and Marylin Manson all over them.

**Black walls don't sound nice. It would make the room look awfully small wouldn't it?**

A big black coffin was in the middle. Red velvet lined the black box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skulls in them. I was wearing a black corset bar with purple stuff on it, fishnet stockings and a black leather thong underneath.

**Were you wearing pants? How are you wearing a bar? When did you change clothing? What's purple stuff? Did the colour purple come to life and glue itself onto your clothes?**

I sat down one of the chairs despairingly.

**Edited Out: dispersed sitting**

So did Draco and Vampire.  
"Are you okay?" Vampire asked putting his alabaster hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing black nail polish with red crosses on it.  
"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Draco also put his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my black lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Voldemort. I'll have to go back in time"

**How do you smile with black lipstick? That's one interesting spell… Most people smile with their lips.**

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.  
"It's okay Ebony," he said finally. "But what about me? We're not going to break up or anything, are we?"  
"Of course not!" I gasped.  
"Really?" he asked.  
"Sure." I said.  
We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.  
Then I took off Draco's MCR shirt and seductively took off his pants.

**You realise that another person is sitting beside you right?**

He was *hung lik a stallone.* He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Ebony on it.

_You mean replaced it *with* one that said Ebony? _**I have too much of a headache to play the option game right now.**

Black roses were around it. I gasped. He looked exactly like Gerard Way.

_He doesn't look anything like Gerard Way._

Vampire took a video camera. (I had said it was okay before).

_WHY would you want anyone filming you doing it?! _**One moment, let me just go vomit, then I'll continue editing.**

I took off my clothes, then we were in for the ride of our lives.  
We started frenching as we climbed into the coffin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

_One of the most ridiculous ways of saying "we had sex" so far. Don't you involve the Big Bang Theory in this, it's one of my favorite shows._ **Bang theory? What about Star Trek?**

"I love you Ebony. Oh, let me feel you, I need to feel you," he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire film everything perfectly. Suddenly….  
"WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING!"  
It was….Snape and Professor McGonagall!

**I agree, what the **** are they doing? Why the **** are they doing it?**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

**Special stuff for you! FangedAssassin has completed the Mary Sue Challenge!**

**"The term "Mary Sue" comes from the name of a character created by Paula Smith in 1973 for her parody story "A Trekkie's Tale":15 published in her fanzine Menagerie # story starred Lieutenant Mary Sue ("the youngest Lieutenant in the fleet — only fifteen and a half years old"), and satirized unrealistic Star Trek fan fiction. Such characters were generally original female adolescents who had romantic liaisons with established canonical adult characters, or in some cases were the younger relatives or protégées of those characters. By 1976 Menagerie's editors stated that they disliked such characters, saying:**

Mary Sue stories—the adventures of the youngest and smartest ever person to graduate from the academy and ever get a commission at such a tender age. Usually characterized by unprecedented skill in everything from art to zoology, including karate and arm-wrestling. This character can also be found burrowing her way into the good graces/heart/mind of one of the Big Three [Kirk, Spock, and McCoy], if not all three at once. She saves the day by her wit and ability, and, if we are lucky, has the good grace to die at the end, being grieved by the entire ship.

"Mary Sue" today has changed from its original meaning and now carries a generalized, although not universal, connotation of wish-fulfillment and is commonly associated with self-insertion. True self-insertion is a literal and generally undisguised representation of the author; most characters described as "Mary Sues" are not, though they are often called "proxies" for the author. The negative connotation comes from this "wish-fulfillment" implication: the "Mary Sue" is judged as a poorly developed character, too perfect and lacking in realism to be interesting"

**How cool is that?**

AN: Shut the **** up! You're just jealous because you're preps, so f*** you! Raven, you rock, girl, thanks for the help! MCR ROCKS! 666!

_Raven didn't seem to help much with these next few chapters, the grammar is absolutely horrible. It's mostly texting shortcuts._

"Oh my S*tan!" We screamed as we jumped out of the coffin. Snape and Professor McGonagall started to shout at us angrily.  
"Come now!" Professor McGonagall yelled. Guiltily, we went over. We left the room after putting our clothes on. Snape grabbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

_I think she meant camera, but here again is a good laugh. _

**Edited Out: Our good friend preacher Mcgoggle. Also, I love caramels. Although I don't know where the caramel came from, I can understand why Snape would grab it.**

"Hey, what the f***!" Vampire shouted angrily.

**Give that caramel back!**

"Yeah buster, what the f*** are you going to do with the ****ing camera?" Draco demanded protectively, looking at me longly with his gothic red eyes.

_Longly? Not a word. Also, buster?_

"Look, Dumbledore knows your little secret and if you do this again, then you will go to St Mungo's. So give back the camera!"

**Evidently having sex is a sign of insanity.**

"Hahahaha the Ministry of Magic thinks that he is crazy, there is no way they will believe him," Snape laughed meanly.

**Wait, believe Dumbledore? Don't they like Dumbledore?**

"Yes, so shut your mouth, you insolent fools!" yelled Professor McGonagall. She made us come into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these weird tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sensitive. (Get it, because he's a sexbomb. Lol, Tom Felton rules for life but not as much as Gerard. You're sex on legs. I love you, you ****ing marry me!)

**Oo I can't imagine that poor Gerard and Tom feel the same way… Also, where are they? Are they somewhere in Hogwarts? How the h*ll can crying be sexy? When I cry tears and snot run everywhere. It's not a pretty sight!**  
_I feel sorry for poor Tom. Also, sex on legs. Ah. Wonderful._

I started to cry tears of blood (It happens in vampire chronicles, Raven said so, okay, so f*** you!).

_Possibly, in in 'vampire chronicles' I bet there are SOME non-Mary Sue characters. Hopefully._

__Vampire took out a black handkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

_Don't you love it when your eyes go from ice blue to crimson to red?_ **The 60s would love it!**

****And then….. He and Snape both took out guns using magic.

_And the point of this is? _**Option time!**

**1. Vampire and Snape used magic to create guns.**

**2. Vampire and Snape used magic to take guns out of their pockets. Why don't they just shoot each other with their wands, who knows?**

They started to shoot each other angrily. None of the bullets hit their target. I took out my wand.  
"Crucio!" I shouted. Snape started to scream. He dropped the gun, but it was too late. Both of them had run out of bullets.

**Ok, how does that matter? Why should it matter if they run out of bullets? At least someone is using their wands for actual magic stuff.**

I stopped the curse. Professor McGonagall cast a spell that chained us up. She took out a box of tools. Then she said "Okay, Severus, I'm going to go now." She left. Snape started to laugh evilly.

**Ooh, we're all so scared now that she's leaving. Also, what kind of tools are they? Candy making tools? Wrenches? **

Vampire started to cry.  
"It's okay, Ebony," said Draco. "Everything will be all right. Remember the video you took of Snape."

_WHAT VIDEO?_** The video that Lupin took of Ebony? Cut content?**

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!

_Omg, whips. Ebony's gonna get some discipline, huh? Or are they horse whips? Are they going horseback riding?_** Yes Julie, they're going to go ride horses. I just love Julie, she's so funny!**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30.  
AN: Stop flaming the story, okay! You don't know what's even going to happen, okay! SO **** YOU! If you flame, you will be a prep so all flamers can kiss my *ss! *soz 4 soz 4* Saying Alzheimer's is dangerous but that's the Ministry's opinion because society basically sucks. Thanks to Raven, you rock, b****!

_Correcting this author's note gave me a headache._ **./pat Julie**

"No!" We screamed sadly. Snape started laughing meanly. He took out a camera evilly. Then he came towards Draco! He took some stones out of his pocket. He put the stones around Draco and lit a candle.

_Is this some sort of weird Pagan ritual?_ **Why would he be carrying stones in his pocket? Who carries stones in their pockets? Even I don't look at stones and think, "Oh, better keep that, It might be useful later."**

"What the **** are you doing?!" I shouted angrily. Snape laughed meanly. He pulled down his pants. I gasped – there was a Dark Mark on his you-know-what!

_That must've been painful and awkward, requesting to have it put there instead of his arm… also, don't Dark marks burn when the Death Eater is summoned? Imagine Snape at a teacher meeting, and then : "CR*P, MY GENTIALS ARE BURNING, MY LORD MUST NEED ME!" _**Just spurted tea out of my mouth when I read that! Well said Julie, well said!**

He waved his wand and a knife came. He gave the knife to me.

_"Oh hi," said the knife upon appearing. "How are you, Severus? I just sharpened myself, don't I look nice? I did it especially for you. What do you need, my noble companion?"_

"You must stab Vampire," He said to me. "If you don't then I'll r*pe Draco!"

_And this makes sense as a punishment for having sex because….?  
Assuming you are male, how would that even be possible? An*l r*ping? I also thought for a long time deciding if r*pe should be bleeped. So I only bleeped out one letter to compromise with myself. _** This punishment makes no sense!**

"No you ****ing bastard!" I yelled.  
But then Draco looked at me sadly with his evil gothic red eyes that looked so depressing and sexy. He looked exactly like a pentagram (Lol, get it, because I'm a Satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard.

_Option game, PartingGrace? I tried, but I think it would be better from you._

**Don't mind if I do!**

**1. Draco looked at Ebony with sexy puppy eyes. Kurt Cobain and Gerard sat on opposite sides of Draco which made Draco look like a pentagram.**

**2. Draco looked at Ebony with sexy puppy eyes. This made him look like a cross between Kurt Cobain and Gerard Way. Why isn't he scared? I don't know.**

But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so sexy because of his gothic black hair. I thought of the time we scr*wed. I thought of the time I did it with Draco, but Dumbledore came, and the time when Draco almost committed suicide. Vampire was so supportive.

_Cringe, run on sentence. Why are you remembering this? Was Vampire supportive of Draco's idea to kill himself? _**Headache achieved editing it.**

Snape laughed angrily. He started to pray to Voldemort. He started to do a dance around the stones, whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly I had an idea. I closed my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathic message to Draco and Vampire so they would destroy Snape.

_Ah, yes, Vampire powers. Forgot about those. Surely Draco and Vampire are too stupid to realize that destroying Snape is a good idea on their own, right? _**Foolish Julie! Everyone in this fanfic except Ebony is stupid! And Even Ebony's intelligence is under close inspection. **

Dumbledore will get you!" Draco shouted.  
"Yeah, just wait until the Ministry finds out!" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

**They didn't take the wands away? For crying out loud!**

"You ridiculous dunderhead!" Snape yelled. He took off all of Draco's clothes. Just as he was about to r*pe him…  
"Crucio!" I shouted, pointing my wand.

**Edited Out: Ebony pointing her wound.**

Snape screamed and started running around the room. Meanwhile, I grabbed my black cellphone and sent a text to Sirius. I stopped cruciating Snape.  
"You dunderhead! I'm going to kill – "Shouted Snape, but suddenly Severus came.  
Snape put the whip behind his back. "Oh, hello, Severus, I was just teaching them something," he lied. Suddenly Lucius and Professor Trelawney came in to the room and they unlocked the chains and put them around Snape. Then professor Trelawney said, "Come on, Ebony, let's go."

**Headache!**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31.  
_AN: Note on previous chapters. I've read a few reviews on My Immortal and I'm pretty sure that Jenny and Raven are one person. Now enjoy! Sorry for seven chapters at once, PartingGrace :P_ **Who the h*ll is Jenny?**

AN: I said, shut the f*** up, you *quiephs*! Stop calling Ebony a Mary Sue, okay, you don't even know what's going to happen so f*** you! Thanks to my BFF Raven for the help!

_Is that supposed to say Preps?_

"I always knew you were on Voldemort's side, you son of a b**** ," Sirius said to Snape. (Buffy rocks!)

**I like Buffy too, but I don't think that you should slip your love for Buffy into your fanfic.**

"No, I'm not, I was teaching them something!" Snape claimed.  
"Oh ****ing yeah?" I took some black Veritaserum out of my pocket and gave it to Severus.

_Edited out: volxemortserum._

He made Snape drink it. Snape was angry. Lucius took out a tape recorder and started playing it while cursed Snape. Then Professor Sinister and Lucius made us get out with them while Snape told Trelawney and Sirius his secrets.

_Then Julie's brain exploded. _**At least Lord of the Rings characters aren't jumping in. It could be worse.**

Lucius took Vampire and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a million times. Professor Trelawney took me to a dark room. Now I was going to go back in time to seduce Voldemort. Moving posters of MCR and Nirvana were all over.

_All over what? Did they exist for a while then vanish? Are they a movie? Is this story over?_** Shouldn't she rest a bit after traumatizing experiences? The posters are all over time! The posters are all over the world! They are everywhere! Bow to your new poster overlords!**

Hermione, Darkness and Willow came too. Bloody Mary gave me a black bag from Tom Riddle's store.  
"What's in the bag?" I asked professor Trelawney.  
"You will see," She replied. I opened the bag. In it was a sexy, tight low-smut black leather gothic dress.

_YAY! MORE CLOTHES! *note the sarcasm* _**./facedesk**

It had red corset stuff and there was a slit up the leg. I put it on. My friends helped me put on black fishnets and black pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eye liner and blood-red lipstick.

_Because putting on lipstick without a mirror is so incredibly difficult._** Corset stuff! My old enemy!**

"You look ****ing kawaii, b****," Bloody Mary said.  
"Thanks, "I said.  
"Okay, now you're going to go back in time," Said Professor Sinister. "You will have to do it for a few sessions. " She gave me a black gun.

**Compared to the neon green guns they sell at Walmart.**

I put it in a strap on my fishnets like in 'Resident Evil'.

**Which movie? There are five of them. Or does she mean the games?**

Then she gave me a black time-turner. "After an hour, use the time-turner to go back here," Professor Trelawney said.

_That's not how the time-turner works!_

Then she and Bloody Mary put a pensieve in front of me. Everyone went in front of it.  
"Good luck!" Everyone shouted. Darkness and Willow gave me the death's touch sign. Then I jumped sexily into the pensieve.

**Wait a minute, pensieves let you enter memories. Whose memory is she entering, and if she's entering a memory, why does she have a time turner? And what the h*ll is the deaths tough sign?**

Suddenly I was in front of Hogwarts. In front of me was one of the sexiest Goth guys I had ever seen. He had long black hair, kind of like Milky Way only black.

_Does she mean Gerard Way, a celebrity named Milky Way that I've never heard of or the actual Milky Way transformed into a hairstyle?_ **At least we didn't get a clothing description. Mmm, chocolate.**

He had green eyes like Billie Joe Armstrong and pale white skin. He was wearing a black ripped up suit with Vans. It was Tom Bombodil!

_Now. Now is enough internet for today._** Tom Bombadil is in my edited fanfic! It's not a LOTR fanfic! Stop messing with my life! RGDF,LERKMGFV8UP9CKOT54INH0 GET TOM OUT OF MY FANFICDONTTOUCHTOMBOMBADILCURSEYOUTARACURSEYOU!**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32.  
AN: I said, stop flaming! I know his name isn't Tom Bodil, that was a mistake! If you don't like the story then you can go scr*w yourself! YOU SUCK!

**DONTTOUCHTOMBOMBADIL!GETAWAYFROMLOTRYOUB*TCH!**

"Hi," I flirted. "I'm Ebony Way, the new student."  
"The name's Tom," He said. "But you can call me Satan. That's my middle name."

_How ****ing convenient. Isn't your middle name Marvolo? Don't you need it for the letter rearrangement thing?! _**Don't care… Poor Tom… I'm going to go cry in a corner…**

We shook hands. "Well come on, we have to go upstairs," Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan… do you happen to be a fan of Green Day?" (Since MCR and Evanescence didn't exist back then) I asked.  
"Oh my ***ing g*d, how did you know?" Satan gasped. "Actually, I like GC a lot too." (Get it, because GC did that song, 'I just wanna live' that sounded really 80's.)

**I don't get it. How does she know we are in the 80's? Why are we in the 80's?**

"Oh my g*d, me too!" I replied happily.  
"Guess what, they have a concert in Hogsment," Satan whispered.  
"Hogsment?" I asked.  
"Yeah that's what they used to call it in these times before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." He whispered secretly. "And there's a really cool shop called Hot-"  
"topic!" I finished, happy again.  
He frowned in confusion. "No, it's called Hot Ishoo." He smiled *skrtvli* again. "Then in 1998 they changed it to Hot Topic." He moaned.

**What the h*ll? Is he a time traveler? Doctor Who would be ashamed! I'm ashamed Feel the shame!  
**_How would you know this if you live in that time? Can you see the future? You don't even know SHE is from the future! Also, why are you moaning?! And what's "skrtvli"? Secretively?_** Had to edit that.**

__"Oh." Now everything was making sense to me. "So is Dumbledore your principal?" I shouted.

**It's not making sense to me.**

"Uh-huh." He looked at his black nails. "I'm in Slytherin.  
"OMG me too!" I shrieked.  
"You go to this skull?" (Get it, cause I'm gothic) He asked.

_If she's in Slytherin, she obviously goes to Hogwarts! _**Didn't Ebony introduce herself as the new girl in school or something like that? What is he, brain damaged?**

"Yeah, that's why I'm here, I'm new," I smelled happily.

_More happy smelling._ **Erm, he didn't ask why you go here…**

Suddenly, Dumbledore flew in on his broomstick and shouted at us angrily. "No talking in the halls!" He had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from American Eagle Outfitters.

_Really? AE? In this fanfic?!_ **Edited Out: Dumbledore shredding at them. He turned into a really determined paper shredder or something. Also, caps rage.**

"Stupid Goths!"  
Satan rolled his eyes. "He's so mean to us Goths and punks just because we're in Slytherin and we're not preps."  
I turned around angrily. "Actually, I think maybe it's because you're the Dark Lord."

**Why is she mad?**

"What the f***?" He asked angrily.  
"Oh, nothing," I said sweetly.  
Then suddenly…. the floor opened. "Oh my f***ing g*d no!" I screamed as I fell down. Everyone looked at me weirdly.

**I would too if someone fell into a random hole in the floor. Also, most people can't get such a mouthful out when falling. Very impressive.**

"Hey, where are you going?" Satan asked as I fell.

_Because people fall through random portholes in the ground every day. _**Fell through one just this morning.**

I got out of the hole. It was black in the Pensieve in professor Trelawney's classroom. Dumbledore was there. "Dumbledore, I think I just met you," I said.

_Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's our fanfic, so review maybe?_

"Oh yeah, I remember that," Dumbledore said, trying to be all gothic.  
Sinister came in. "Hey, this is my classroom! What the f***, Ebony, what the h*ll are you doing?"  
"Um," I looked at her.  
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."  
"What the h*ll, how?!" I screamed, forgetting she was a teacher for a second. But she's a Goth so it's okay.

**Evidently it's ok to swear at Goths. Real Goths are probably gnashing their teeth right about now.**

Professor Sinister looked sad. "Um, I was drinking Voldemort serum," She started to cry bloody tears of depression. Dumbledore didn't know that we cried tears made of blood.  
"Hey, are you crying tears of blood?" He asked curiously, touching a tear.  
"F*** off!" We both said and Dumbledore took his hand away.  
Professor Sinister started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears. "Oh my g*d, Ebony… I think I'm addicted to Voldemort serum."  
AN: See, you ****ing preps, go **** yourself! That's a serious issue, go to h*ll!

_Yup. Definitely. Happens every day. I live right to a Voldemort Serum rehab center. _**True, in her room, she has a great view of the rehab center. **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33.  
AN: I said, shut up, it's not my fault, okay, if you don't like the story then you're a prep so **** you flamers! PS. I'm not updating until you give me five good reviews, and this time I mean it! YOU SUCK! Thanks Raven for the help, I promise to help you with your story, lol.

**Is there anyone who can find Raven's story, because I would love to edit that as well. **

"Oh my ****ing g*d!" I shouted angrily. "Should we get you to St Mungo's, b****?"  
"H*ll no!" She said. "Listen, Ebony, I need your help. Next time you go back in time, do you think you could ask Tom Andorson for some help?

**Who the h*ll is Tom Anderson?**

"Sure," I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there! He was wearing a big black GC t-shirt which was his pyjamas.

_That works on slutty girls like Ebony. That does not work on guys unless the shirt is about 10 sizes too large like a towel. _**Pants?**

"Hey sexy," I said.  
"How'd it go Ebony?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low, kind of like Gerard Way when he's talking.

**Compared to his voice when he's not talking.**

"Fine," I responded. We stared to go back into the dorm.  
"How far did you go with Satan?" Draco asked jealously.  
"Not too far," I laughed.  
"Will you have to do it with him?" Draco asked angrily.  
"I hope not too far!" I shouted angrily. Then I felt bad for shouting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.  
"What happened to Snape?" I growled.

**First she's kissing, and then she's growling at him. This girl must be bipolar or something.**

"You will see," Draco giggled mysteriously. He opened a door. Snape and Lupin were there! Sirius was stabbing thim with a black knife.

**Well that's random.**

"No, please!" Lupin begged as Sirius started to suck his blood. I laughed sadistically.

**Edited Out: Statistic laughing and caps rage.**

I took some photos of him and Snape being tortured. (Okay, I know this is mean, but think about it, people. They are pedophiles, Snape tried to rape Draco and sadists rock. Has anyone seen Shark Attack 3? Lol.) We took some of Snape's blood then Draco and I went back to our rooms.

_Why did you take his blood again?_ **Her logic makes no sense! What the h*ll does 'Shark Attack 3' have to do with anything? How does a giant shark relate to this?**

We sat on my gothic black coffin. My clothes were kind of dirty so I put on a black leather outfit, kind of like the one Selene wears in 'Underworld'. (If you haven't heard of it then **** YOU!) I put on some black platform high heels. Draco put on "Desolition Livers" by MCR. Then we started to take off each other's clothes.

_What was the point of changing clothes if you're going to take them off anyway? _**Desolition Livers? Desolation Livers? Livers of Desolation? Desolation Lives? A picture of really sad livers?**

I took off his shirt and he had a six-pack. We started to make out like in The Grudge. He put his wetness into my you-know-what sexily. I got an orgasm.

_Facedesk._**His wetness? Nearly died laughing!**

"Oh Draco! Oh my ****ing g*d, Draco!" I screamed passionately as he got an erection.

**Edited Out: Passive eructating? What's eructating? Is that a word? No. No, it's not.  
**_This sentence. This freaking sentence. Parting Grace – on your marks, get set, go._

"I love you, Ebony," He whispered sexily and then we fell asleep.

_Edited out: TaEbory. Did Tara write her name then change her mind halfway? _**I…I don't know…I'm so confused…**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34.  
AN: Shut the **** up preps! Have you even read the story? You are probably all just preps and posers so **** YOU! Thanks to Raven for the help!

**./sigh, because we just read random fanfics from random fandoms.**

I woke up in the coffin the next day. Draco was gone. I got up and put on a black tight sexy dress that was all ripped at the end. There was red corset stuff going up the front and the back. The dress came down to my knees.

_Rejoice, for Ebony is drowning in "corset stuff"! _**Hallelujah! **

There was a slit in the dress like in 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith'. I put on ripped black fishnets and black stilton boots. Suddenly Sirius knocked on the door. I opened it.  
"Hi Ebony." he said. "Guess what, you have to come to Professor Sinister's office."  
"Ok." I said in a depressed voice. I had wanted to **** Draco or maybe listen to MCR or Evanescence. I came anyway.

**Poor Ebony. What trials she goes through.**

"So what the ****happened to Snape and Lupin?" I asked Sirius.

**Edited Out: Ebony flirting with Sirius. Because it's just wrong.**

"I ****ing tortured them." he answered in a sadistic way. "They're in Azkaban now,."

_Azkaban, hahaha. _**Edited Out: Even more statistic speaking!**

I laughed evilly.  
"Where are Draco and Vampire?" I muttered.  
"They are excused from school today," Sodomize moaned sexily. "Right now they are watching "The Nightmare before Christmas".

_Why are they excused, did they get infected with a little bit of canon and their bodies exploded? _**Good question, but the real question is, "WHO THE F*CK IS SODOMIZE AND WHY IS SHE IN MY EDITED FANFIC!" Just saying… Why is she moaning 'sexily' anyways?**

We went into the office. Professor Sinister was there. She was wearing a gothic black dress that was all ripped all over it kind of like the one Amy Lee wears in this pic.

_Edited out: Half a url._** Only Tara would feel the need to stick urls in her fanfic.**

She was drinking some Voldemort serum.  
"Ebony, you have to do another session now. Also, I need you to get me the cure for being addicted to Voldemort serum," She said sadly. "Good luck. Thanks!"

_Why do you think Tom Riddle would have that?! _**Why wouldn't he? I always carry some in my pocket. You should always be prepared Julie. Always.**

And then….I jumped into the Pensieve again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in the Great Hall eating Count Chocula.

_Ah, Ebony's disturbing breakfast choices again._ **Count Chocula is a good cereal. It's just cereal with blood that I find disturbing. Ewww.**

It was morning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gothic man with long black hair, pale skin and blue eyes wearing a suit and black Converse shoes. He looked just like Charles Manson. I noticed he was drinking a potion.

_Edited out: Portents._

"Who's he?" He asked.  
"Oh, that's Professor Slughorn," Satan said. "He's the Potions teacher...Ebony?"

**Edited Out: Professor Sluthorn, sex ed. teacher of Hogwarts.**

"Yeah?" I asked.  
"Did you know that Marylin Manson is playing in Hogsmeade tonight? And they are showing 'The Exorcist' at the movies before that."  
"Yeah?"  
"Well… want to go to the concert and the movie with me?"

**Edited Out: 'The Exercise', the ultimate horror movie. To me anyways.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Ghost of you  
AN: Thanks to Suzi for the idea! You rock! **** off, preps! Thanks to Raven for the help, you rock girl! PS. I'm going to end the story really soon so ***** YOU! Oh, yeah, and if you know any gothic names please tell me because I need one for Sirius! Thanks.

_OR you could just call him Sirius. Brilliant idea, huh? _**Call him Bloody Mc. Doom-hound Blooderton! I like this game!**

I went into the Common Room thinking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped. Draco was there! He looked as hot as ever wearing black leather pants, a black Linkin Park t-shirt and black eyeliner.  
"Draco, what the **** are you doing?" I gasped.  
"Huh?" He asked. Then I remembered. It wasn't Draco. It was Lucius.  
He still had two arms.

_When did he EVER lose his ****ing arms?! This story is such ****ing b**sh*t that this is giving me a *********ing headache and my ****ing ***** is going to explode if I have to deal with any more of this ****ing ****! _**She saw one person, then another? Did they switch? Maybe she was just worried that we might think that a sudden outbreak of leprosy struck Hogwarts. I know that I worry about leprosy every single day. Every one of them. *note sarcasm***

"Oh, hi, Lucius!" I said. "I'm Ebony, the new student." We shook hands.  
"Yeah, Satan told me about you," Lucius said. He pointed to a group of sexy gothic guys. They were sitting in a corner cutting.

**Cutting class? Cutting vegetables for a stew? Cutting each other? Cutting bits out of the wall? Having a group self-cut-a-thon? I sure hope that they're cutting class. Although a nice stew would be nice.**

It was Sirius, Vampire's dad and … Snape! All of them were wearing black eyeliner and black Good Charlotte band shirts. "Listen, I'm in a goth band with those guys," He said. "We're playing tonight at the Marylin Manson show as back-up."  
"Oh, really?" I asked.

_Edited out: ORLY. _**Meme it Tara! Meme it!**

"Yeah," He said. "We're called XBlackXTearX. I play the guitar. Spartacus plays the drums," He said pointing to him. "Snape plays the boss."

_Indeed he does. *slow clap for how this is a spelling mistake but so accurate* _**Must be hard to pronounce. "exblackextearex!" Try saying that five times.**

"And James plays the guitar too, even though we call him Samaro, after Samara in The Ring."  
"Hey, bastards" I told them. They gave me the death touch sign. Suddenly, I gasped again. "But you don't have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucius looked down sadly.  
"We used to, but she died. She committed suicide by slitting her wrists."

_Edited out: Contempted suicide. _**DEATH TOUCH? My old enemy. Along with corset stuff.**

"Oh my ****ing g*d! That's so ****ing sad!" I gasped.

_Said Ebony/Tara who have both done this more than once._** Irony Alert!**

"It's okay but we need a new lead singer," Samaro said.  
"Well…" I said. "I'm in a band myself."  
"Really?" Asked Snape. I couldn't believe it. He used to be gothic!

**Amazing. I'm thrilled.**

"Yeah, we're called Bloody Gothic Rose 666. Do you want to hear me sing?"

_Ah, that part where a Mary Sue has the voice or an angel. I was waiting for this._***plugs ears***

"Yeah," said everyone. So the guys took out their guitars. They began to play a song bi (Get it, because bi guys are so sexy!) Green Day.  
"I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams," I sang sexily (AN: I don't own the lyrics to that song.) Everyone gasped.

**Edited Out: Sand singing. Evidently Ebony has a deep, hidden love for beaches.**

"Ebony? Will you join the band? Please!" Begged Lucius, Samoro, Sirius and Snape.  
"Um….okay." I shrugged. "Are we going to play tonight?"  
"Yeah," They said.  
"Okay," I said but I knew that I had to get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I could go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in front of me. It was Marty Mcfly!

_NOOOOO! NOT MARTY! NOT MARTY! THAT'S MY CHILDHOOD RIGHT THERE! LEAVE BTTF ALONE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! _**I realize that time travel is a thing with Marty, but isn't that a bit ridiculous? Do you realize how much therapy Julie needs?**

He was wearing a black band t-shirt and black baggy jeans.

_*Sobs* It's too late…. _***sighs and calculates cost of a good therapist***

"What the h*ll are you doing here?!" I asked.

**I don't know, what the h*ll is he doing here?**

"I will help you go forward in time, Ebony," he said seriously. Then he took out a black time machine. I went into it and suddenly I was forward in time!

**What the h*ll?**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36.

AN: I said, stop flaming, okay! I bet you are all probably old seventy-year-olds! P.S. *Portersuz*, you're a prep! Oh yeah, and thanks to Raven for the help! Have fun in England, girl!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Is the X rage really necessary? _**Portersuz?**

I looked around in a depressed way. Suddenly, I saw Professor Sinister, Bloody Mary, Socrates and Draco. Vampire and Willow were there too. **Please leave greek philosophers out of it.**

"OM*G, Sirius, I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be gothic!" **Everyone in this story has twelve different names. WHY?**

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said sadly.

"Oh, hey there, b*tch," Professor Trevolry said in an emo voice, drinking some Voldemort serum.

"Hi, f*cker," I said. "Listen, Satan asked me out to a gothic concert and a movie so I need a sexy new outfit for the date. Also, I'm playing in a gothic band, so I need an outfit for that, too."

_Does she need new clothes for every single thing she goes to?! Where the f*ck does she keep all this cr*p?! _**Every girl needs an outfit for everything she does of course. I have an outfit tailored to each video game I play. Actually, an Assassin's Creed robe would be pretty neat.**

"Oh my Satan!" (Get it, lol, because she's gothic) gasped Bloody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?

"OMFS, let's have a group cutting session!" said Professor Trevolry.

_I lost track of when this fanfic crossed the line from WTF to very offensive and triggering. A long time ago, I think. _**Sorry what? Too busy groaning.**

"I can't f*cking wait for that, but we need to get some stuff first," saidWillow.

_Yay! Cutting session! *facetardis* _**I thought I watched too much 'Doctor Who'...**

"Yeah, we need some potions for Professor Trelawney so she won't be addicted to Voldemort serum anymore and also…a love potion for Ebony," Draco said reluctantly.

"Well, we have potions class now," Willow said. "So let's go."

We went sexily to Potions class. But Snape wasn't there. Instead there was Cornerlius F*ck!

_Edited out: Too many ellipses to count. I actually_ tried.**Yep, she does love her some good elipses.**

_Also, Cornelius F*ck was just too funny and repeated too often to be edited out. XD_

"Hey, where the f*ck is Dumbledore?" Draco shouted angrily.

"Shut the f*ck up!" Shouted Cornelius F*ck. He's in Azkaban now with Snape and Lupin. He is old and weak. He has cancer. Now do your work!"

_Having cancer: now apparently a crime._ **My cousin was jailed for insomnia just last week.**

My friends and I talked angrily.

"Can you believe Snape used to be gothic?!" Vampire asked in surprise.

_He doesn't seem very angry. Also, HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GOING TO SAY THAT?! WE GET IT, THEY CAN'T BELIEVE SNAPE USED TO BE GOTHIC! MERLIN'S BAGGY Y-FRONTS!_

"THAT'S IT!" CORNERLIUS F*CK SHOUTED ANGRILY. "I'M GETTING PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE!"

He stomped out angrily.

My friends and I began talking again. I began to drink some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly I saw Hagrid in the cupboard.

_Ah, alcoholic blood. Yum. Can Hagrid even fit into a closet? Any closet? _**Why is he in ths colset anyways? Did he just wander into the classroom and say "Oh, this cupboard looks nice and comfy!" Is he reenacting Harry's childhood? Sometimes people reenact old wars? (USA civil war comes to mind) Maybe there's a certain day of the year where a bunch of people climb into cupboards and reenact his abusive childhood!**

"What the f*ck is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier than ever. Suddenly… "Hagrid, what the f*ck are you doing?!" He shouted.

I looked around… Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood! Draco and Vampire started to beat him up sexily.

_Everything anyone does in this fanfiction is done either "angrily", "suddenly", or "sexily". _

"G*d, you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid. Suddenly, I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was Amnesia Potion!

**OMG! AMNESIA POTION! WHATEVER WILL WE DO! THE WORLD iS CRUMBLING! *sigh***


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37.

AN: Okay, everybody, I'm going on vacation on the first of July. I'm either going to end the fic or update it every week. Thanks! Oh yeah, and preps, stop flaming the story! Raven, thanks for the help, see you after the vacation!  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Please just end it, Tara. Please. _**Having to edit the author's notes is just sad.**

DRACO'S POINT OF VIEW

Hagrid and I chained Hagrid to the floor.

_What?! So you and Hagrid chained Hagrid to the floor? And he chained himself? Why?!_

_Why do I get the impression that Tara has a bit of a BDSM fetish…_

Oh my f*cking s*tan!" Ebony said. She was so hot. "Maybe I could use Amnesia potion to make Satan fall in love with me faster!"

_Amnesia potion, unless it's meant to be Amorentia, would make him __forget her._ **What kind of twisted logic is this? That didn't even make sense to me and I'm the most illogical person you could find!**

"But you are so sexy and wonderful anyway, Tara," Said Vampire. "Why would you need it?"

_*cough* Nope, Ebony isn't based on Tara at ALL. Not even a little bit. Nope._

"To make everything go faster," said Ebony.

"But you won't have to do it with him or anything, will you?" I asked jealously. **I don't even get why we have to seduce him in the first place. Just stick a knife in his spine already!**

"OMFG, you guys are so scary!" said Britney, a f*cking prep. **Where did this random girl come from?**

"Shut the f*ck up!" said Willow.

"Ok, well, anyway, let's go to Professor Trevolry's room."

Draco, Ebony and I went to Professor Sinister's room. But Professor Sinister wasn't there. Instead, Tom Rid was.

_"Draco, Ebony and I"… who the F*CK IS TALKING?! WHOSE POINT OF VIEW IS THAT SENTENCE?! _**Could be Hagrid or Britney.**

"Oh, hi, f*ckers," He said. "Listen, I got you some cool new clothes."

EBONY'S POINT OF VIEW **(Just to make things easier.)**

I took the clothes from the bag.

_Oh, guess we're back in Ebony's deranged gothic head again._

It was a gothic black leather miniskirt that said "666" on the back, black stilton boots, blood red fishnets and a black corset.

"OMG thanks!" I said, hugging him in a gothic way. I took the clothes in the bag.

_You can hug someone in a gothic way? How? Does it involve stabbing them? Or does it involve lots of corset stuff?_ **Maybe it was one of those stiff hugs or an awkward pat on the shoulder.**

"Okay, Professor Sinister isn't here, what the f*ck should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he looked at a sign on the black wall. **Did she just stay consistent? This is the first time. Let's all bow our heads in recognition of this moment.**

"Oh my f*cking S*tan!" I screamed as I read it. It said "Everyone, Professor Sinister is away. She is too gothic. She is in Azkaban now. Classes shall be taught by Dumbledore who is back but he shall not be principal for now. Sincerely, Professor Umbridge."

_I thought he was in Azkaban, weak and dying from cancer. You can't just "come back" from cancer. It doesn't work like that._ **Do the dementors do surgery now? Maybe ebony is mistaking Azkaban the magical jail for St. Mungo's the magical hospital. It could be possible. I think.**

"Oh my f*cking g*d!" I shouted angrily. "How could they do that?!"

Suddenly, Dumbledore came.

"What the hell are you doing in my office?" He began to shout angrily. Suddenly, I saw Marty McFly's black time machine! **Erm, Actually, this is Sinister's room. Sorry bout that Dumbledore.**

_*grabs knife* Leave. Marty. Alone. Now. _***hides from scary editing partner***

I jumped seductively into it leaving Draco and Vampire.

_Wow, that's not very nice. Also, what the f*ck is seductive jumping? Bouncing your breasts everywhere? That would f*cking hurt. I'm female and even though I don't have much to boast of I still know that would hurt._ **I'm currently cringing at the idea of seductive jumping, whatever that is.**

Suddenly I was back in time! I looked around. It was Professor Slughorn's office! I sneaked around. Suddenly, I saw the Amnesia potion on his desk. It was black with blood-red pentagrams in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my pocket. Suddenly the door opened. I was Professor Slughorn!

_Everything happens so SUDDENLY. _**If you did go back in time, you wouldn't actually move from where you were. She should still be in Dumbledore's office. Acutally, originally she was in Sinister's room. **

"Oh my g*d, what are are you doing, f*cker?" He shouted angrily. "I don't know, what the f*ck are you doing?" I shouted angrily.

"Oh, sorry, I was just looking around because I thought it was class," I said finally, hoping he couldn't see the potion in my pocket.

_Really? That's the best excuse you could come up with?_ **Had to change point of view from second to first. Come on Tara! This is not a choose-your-own-adventure story!**

"Oh, okay, you can go now," said Professor Slughorn.

I went to the common room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snape were there practicing 'Vampires Will Never Hurt You' by MCR. **When did she ever take her clothes off?**

"Oh, hi, you guys, "I said seductively. "Where's Satan?"

"Oh, he's coming," said Sirius. "By the way, you can call me Hades now" Suddenly, Satan came. He was wearing a sexy black leather Jackson, black congress shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a black tie. **Damn it, not another name! I can't remember all these names!**

"Ok, I will see you guys at the concert," I said and then I went with Satan.

_This fanfic really shouldn't exist. I hope it ends soon. I don't know how much longer I can survive._ **Too many names! *mad flailing***


End file.
